A Tale of Two Brothers
by A.D. Williams
Summary: Time with Itachi is all that Sasuke ever wanted. Except, Sasuke learns quickly that being the brother to Itachi Uchiha is an occupational hazard all on its own! As the two spend more time together, they learn about each others quirks which help to bring them closer together.
1. Struggles of Success

Hello there! So far for this story, there's no particular plot in mind. This story will focus mainly on Itachi and Sasuke and will involve both anecdotes told by them and whatever shenanigans I have them getting into :)

While this is alternate universe to a degree, it's still set around Konoha. I'll go ahead and give a warning now; there's a chance this story will trail into being a "crackfic" at times with all original personalities shattered. Additionally, there may be yaoi references, though I'd like to hold back from making anything official. In short, I'm leaving this story open for whatever ideas come to mind as I want to have as much fun as possible writing it.

With all of that said, I certainly hope you enjoy the story! Oh, and…I start this on Itachi's birthday. I didn't have any other stories prepared so…I can only contribute this.

* * *

 **Struggles of Success**

Sasuke sat at the low table, wondering if this might be the last meal of his life. Just to his left and within clear view, Itachi was preparing them lunch while their parents were out for the time. He'd been hungry for quite a while and his stomach gave a loud growl, pleading to be fed soon.

"Itachi, I really don't mind going out, it's honestly not a problem…" He insisted for probably the tenth time.

"I'm positive this time I'm going to get it right!" Itachi said with his back turned at the stove. "I want to make the perfect okonomiyaki for you. I refuse for it to be anything but the best!" He reached to his side to sprinkle something on top which was met by a large fireball engulfing the pan. "Shit. Gonna need to start over again...I thought my calculations were absolutely precise…"

Sasuke heard his stomach growl once more. _I'll be a corpse by the time he finishes._ He started to rise from his seat. "Look, Itachi, it's cool. I'm just gonna hit up Ichiraku—"

" _Don't even_ think _about leaving that table!_ " Itachi snarled with the Sharingan in his eyes.

Sasuke immediately sat back down.

An hour later, a plate was put in front of him with, admittedly, the most perfect-looking okonomiyaki that he'd ever seen. He was so hungry, a plain rice ball would've been heaven by now. He picked up a fork and a knife, cutting into the food and then lifting it into his mouth. That is, until he stopped to look at his brother. "Itachi, if you get any closer, we're going to be kissing."

Itachi pulled back from where he'd steadily been leaning closer to gauge Sasuke's reaction. "Take a bite before it gets cold. How does it taste?" He fretfully clenched the frilly pink apron he was wearing, decorated with smiling, dancing strawberries.

Sasuke pulled it off the fork and chewed for a while. As he swallowed the food, he noticed Itachi also swallowed in anxiousness. "It's alright. Nothing to shout home about."

"Ungrateful little bastard," Itachi smiled at him, but began to tuck into his own food.

They ate in quiet for a while until Sasuke looked to his brother, tilting his head. "So, how's college treating you? I'm still not sure why you decided to go considering you're one of the best shinobi in the village."

His brother nodded and shrugged. "You do realize the shinobi education stops at thirteen, right? Everyone else goes until they're about eighteen. I had a guy ask me one day what the C stood for in the equation E = mc2 and when I couldn't answer him, I realized that I should probably look into a higher education."

"Okay, one, who just _asks that_ to a stranger?! And two, we don't need that kind of info anyways. How would that help you on the battlefield?" Sasuke asked.

"That's not the point, dear little brother. I want to be fluent in other subjects other than 'A thousand ways to kill a man' and university seems to be the answer."

Sasuke could appreciate that. "Alright then. Made any friends?" he smiled, knowing it was such a mom question to ask.

"Yeah, a few. I mean…they're not exactly friends. I only trust…" he thought about it. "Well, none of them, to be honest. But they make things interesting so I don't mind hanging out with them."

His younger brother quirked an eyebrow at that. "Interesting? Interesting how?"

Itachi giggled. "Well, let's just say, they're not your normal crowd…"

~.~.~

"I hereby call to order this meeting of Alpha Sigma Phi Akatsuki. If all of you would please be seated," Pain instructed to the assembled group.

As everyone shuffled around, a hand was shot into the air. Pain saw it and didn't disguise his sigh. "Yes, Deidara?"

"Yeah, when are we going to upgrade to meeting in an _actual_ classroom? Why the hell do we have to have our meetings in a dark, wet cave in the middle of the woods?"

"Yeah!" the others seconded.

Pain took a seat on a large boulder that looked relatively dry. "Because the college doesn't recognize us as an official fraternity yet. That's just what this meeting is about. They need to see that we're involved with the school or the community in some way."

Another hand was raised. "Does it have to be a fraternity? I'm a woman," Konan pointed out.

"…They don't need to see you," Pain muttered. "Then again, if this new idea of mine works, we should be able to re-classify our group."

Kisame lovingly stroked Samehada as it lay across his lap, the sword purring in content. "This isn't another one of your hair-brained schemes that always end with one of us dead, is it? You do remember what happened to Juzo, right?"

"Kisame, you're just bitter because you wanted his sword for yourself. Look, this one is low risk, high rewards. It's flawless." Pain tossed several folded pamphlets to each of them.

There was a moment of quiet as the group read them before another hand was raised. "I'm not doing this and you _know_ why," Hidan said, tossing his pamphlet into the air and slashing it with his scythe.

"No one's going to force you, but do remember that no other club would take you in and club participation is mandatory at this university for graduation," Pain told him.

Hidan sat back, huffing.

"If there are no further questions, we have one more new change. We're going to need a uniform that gives us credibility, something that says we're a team. I've been working closely with Sasori's grandmother, Chiyo, who was kind enough to make us some rather badass digs. Oh, pardon me, Chiyo."

To the side, the woman was using a battery-powered sewing machine on a length of fabric. "Don't worry about it, dearie," she waved him away.

Pain hopped off the rock and picked up a cardboard box that'd been sitting on the ground. Pulling it open, he dug around inside until he found what he was looking for. He pulled on a wide robe decorated simply with red clouds on a black expanse. "With these, there's no way the dean can say we're not legitimate."

The others traded looks.

"Alright, come up here and grab the one with your name on it. And say thank you to Lady Chiyo! She came out of retirement to make these for us."

"Thanks, Lady Chiyo," the group said with little enthusiasm as they shuffled to the front.

"Thanks, Gram," Sasori said, embarrassed at his grandmother's presence.

"Anything for my precious grandbaby," she cooed, earning him more than a few snorts from the others. He would've had no regrets if he dropped dead right there.

Once everyone was dressed, Pain nodded his approval. "Indeed we look much more polished. Alright, everyone grab some pamphlets. I'll explain the entire details on the way." They followed his orders with him leading the way out the cave.

Once again, she'd been forgotten. "Hello darkness, my old friend…" Chiyo sighed, staring down at the sewing machine.

~.~.~

"…So that's the plan. I'll go first so you can see how it's done," Pain finished. They now stood in a sprawling, residential neighborhood with picturesque, colorful houses and precision-cut lawns. Walking up to one of the homes, he knocked on the door.

It opened a moment later to show a little girl of about eight. Pain stared down at her, the sun flashing off his many piercings and his Rinnegan eyes unblinking. "Hello, child. Are the beings you refer to as 'parents' home at this time?

She screamed and slammed the door in his face.

Behind him, the group fell into cackles. "What was that, oh fearless leader? You were going to show us how it's done?" Deidara teased.

"Fine, since you're such a hotshot, why don't you do it?" Pain sulked, crossing his arms in a very un-leader-like way.

"I thought you'd never ask, hm!" Deidara confidently walked up the driveway of another house and rang the doorbell, tapping a foot and whistling.

The door opened to reveal a balding man in his late fifties. Deidara quickly plastered on a wide smile. "Hi there, gramps! Do you have a couple of minutes to hear the gospel of our lord and savior, the Sage of the Six Paths—"

*slam*

"RUDE!" Deidara screamed, giving the door a kick. Coming back to the group, he put his head down. "Okay, so this might be a little harder than I thought…"

Over the next two hours, each tried their hand at selling tickets for a seminar that Pain stated he would host. With the money raised, he hoped to finally obtain recognition on campus, which, at last, would allow him to add the Akatsuki insignia of the red cloud on class rings. Indeed, that was his ultimate goal. This was going to work; it _had_ to work.

Except it didn't.

"Greetings," Orochimaru hissed to the young woman standing before him. "I'm curious…Are you looking for a change in your life? The way of the Six Paths might be for you!" He suddenly stopped, frowning. "Think I got a hair on my tongue," he mumbled before unrolling a tongue as long as he was tall, right in broad daylight.

When the door was slammed, he only shook his head. "They always do this…" He crouched down and slithered under the door. "So, as I was saying…!" He spent the next ten minutes "enlightening" her on the aims of the Akatsuki but somewhere at the two minute mark, she'd passed out due to fright.

Kakuzu knocked on a door, pulling uncomfortably at the collar of his mantel. When the door opened to show several young college guys, he silently held out the tickets and pamphlets. They looked at him curiously, then reached out tentatively for one until they saw his arm suddenly bulge. "Dude, you're ripped! What do you bench, like 150?" One of the guys asked.

"Yeah, hook me up with your exercise routine, man!" Another said, stepping forward.

Kakuzu backed up. "I have no idea what the hell any of you are talking about—"

"Aw, don't be like that! Look dude, we train every day on the football team and none of the guys there look like you!" One boy said, eying Kakuzu jealously as another muscle pulsed.

"I don't think anyone looks like me," the other man muttered, becoming even more uncomfortable. If Pain weren't so close by, he would've killed them by now.

To his statement, the same guy said, "Pfft, yeah, I can bet no one looks like you! You have the best kept secret ever!"

"If only you knew…"

"Then it's decided! We're following you all the way!" the obvious leader of the group said, his bros cheering him on. "From now on, you're one of us!"

"One of us! One of us! One of us!" the group cheered.

As they congregated on him, Kakuzu did something for the first time in his life: he fled. He caught up to Pain who was on an opposite block of houses, all but crashing into him.

"What's wrong with you? Tell me you sold some tickets," Pain inquired sternly.

"Screw tickets, I was nearly inducted into a cult!" Kakuzu said, his voice tense in a way he was certainly unused to.

Pain blinked at him in surprise. Fear did not become the man. "That's nice. Now get back out there and sell. We need to meet our quota by the end of the week. You love money; I'm sure you can see the importance in making sure we meet our deadline."

"Fuck the quota, I'm going home." With a plume of smoke, Kakuzu was gone.

Pain sighed, realizing that nobody was getting anywhere. Touching the ring on his finger he said, "Abort the mission. This isn't working. Regroup at the hideout." He took the initiative and disappeared first.

Hidan got the message just as he'd managed to form a bloodied circle with a triangle in the middle on the ground. "Aww, shucks. Guess you guys won't be visiting Jashin anytime soon," he shrugged, his body having turned the skeletal black and white of the ritual. He stepped out of the circle and walked away, much to the relief of two little girls who'd only wanted to sell him lemonade.

Deidara had just gotten rejected for the fifth time and was in the midst of crafting a "present" for the latest home owner when he heard Pain's voice. "Tch, I ought to give this to him for wasting our time like this," he grumbled. With regret, he shoved the handfuls of clay into his pocket, touching his ring to return to their base.

Sasori was locked in the most infuriating argument he'd ever had. "Look, what is so hard to understand? You buy a ticket. You come to the event. You sit. You listen. Is that _so_ hard?"

The young boy in front of him was completely disinterested. "Why should I pay to find out more information when I can just Google it?" the kid rolled his eyes.

That was it. He was about to have his own Pinocchio. "Can Google help you dodge this—!"

But then he received Pain's command.

He drew up short, eyeing the kid contemptuously. "You live to see another day…be grateful."

"Yeah, whatever," the kid said, yawning and shutting the door. From the other side, Sasori heard him add, "Freak."

"I am _not_ a freak," he mumbled, almost sulking as he was transported to the cave.

Itachi and Kisame had opted to team up together but Itachi was noticing a distinct pattern; while he was usually greeted pleasantly enough, most screamed in horror when they turned their eyes upon Kisame. "Talk about a blow to the self-esteem!" Kisame joked as they headed to their next house.

"You _do_ realize what you look like, right?" Itachi threw him a look. "I'm curious though…what _are_ you?"

"A man-shark!" Kisame said proudly. "Half man, half shark. Daddy got curious about female aquatic life. Unfortunately for him, he forgot that sharks don't mind the taste of human flesh. Poor Daddy…however, if he hadn't been so curious, I wouldn't have ever been born, so I thank him for his sacrifice!"

Itachi turned to the side and gagged hard. "Oh dear, sweet Kami, what the actual hell!"

"Nah, I'm just kidding with ya!" Kisame pushed him playfully. "I'm an experiment from Kirigakure. But it's not too far off either way. I'm modified but I have both shark and human cells."

Itachi straightened up, looking pale. "Forgive me that I ever asked," he said weakly, putting a hand on his stomach. Just then though, he froze, listening to Pain's summon telepathically. "I suppose he finally gave up," he sighed gratefully.

"Damn, and I had a good feeling about the next house," Kisame smiled, showing his rows of vicious teeth. "Oh well, you win some, you lose some, right?"

"…We lost all of them. Because of you," Itachi reminded him.

"I can't help it that nobody can handle my devilishly good looks," Kisame teased but vanished away before Itachi could say anything more.

He shook his head. "Why do I even bother?" He too vanished back.

~.~.~

"So what happened after that?" Sasuke asked Itachi, taking both his and his brother's plates to the sink to be washed.

"The school refused our request to allow us to be recognized as a religious organization so they classified us as a fashion club instead. Shame that it took all of that just to obtain any kind of status though."

Sasuke threw him a look. "Fashion? Really?"

Itachi shrugged, standing up to take off his apron. "They found it was the lesser of two evils. Considering no other group wanted most of us, we became like the cool misfits on campus."

"…No you didn't," Sasuke called his bull.

"Yeah, you're right, we didn't. Everyone was terrified of us." Itachi walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Your last mission assignment gave you some time off, right? Come with me into town. Gotta do some shopping anyways since I used up a lot of things to make lunch."

A day to hang out with his brother? Sasuke felt his heart lift. "Yeah, that sounds great." Feeling childishly happy, he ran upstairs to get ready.

* * *

Itachi's cooking struggles were inspired by the absolutely hilarious OVA _The Sunny-Side Up Battle_. Honestly, if you've not seen it, hunt it down on an anime website. For anyone that loves Itachi (and it features Sasuke), it's a must-see and was a huge inspiration to me starting this story :)

The idea of the Akatsuki being in college though is an expansion from an idea used in my first Naruto story, _Journey to the Land of the Leaf._ The Akatsuki probably won't be a staple in this, but they might be mentioned here and there.


	2. Tempting Fate

**Tempting Fate**

At the grocery store, Itachi grabbed a basket but Sasuke put a hand on his arm. "Let's get a cart. Just in case we see other stuff that we want."

"I'm shopping on a budget, Sasuke," Itachi informed him with all the seriousness of an older brother. "I'll only need the basket. Unless there's something you want to get?"

"Um, yeah…I mean, there's a few things," Sasuke murmured, not meeting his eyes.

Realizing he was holding up others from getting a basket, Itachi put his back and grabbed a cart. "Alright, but don't get a lot. I want to do express self-checkout. I hate waiting in the normal lines."

"So that's why you never do the larger shopping? You let mom suffer through standing there? You're evil, Itachi!" Sasuke jabbed him in the side with an elbow.

"Never said I wasn't," Itachi admitted. He steered the cart over to produce as it was closest, picking up two packs of cabbage to compare them. "Hey, speaking of mom, what brand does she normally get? I didn't pay attention to the—Sasuke, what the hell?"

Sasuke, at the ripe age of sixteen, was seated within the cart. He blinked innocent eyes at Itachi. "Push me."

There was a moment in which Itachi considered tipping the cart completely over, forcefully depositing him, but he didn't want to make a scene. "Only if you promise to push me next."

Sasuke blanched. "And if I refuse?"

"I'll embarrass you. Maybe not here. Maybe not even today. But soon."

Sasuke weighed his options. Settling on his answer, he gave a smirk. "Do your worst!"

In truth, Itachi had hoped he'd say that. "Fine, but you brought this on yourself." With that, he tossed in one of the packs of cabbage, not caring that it bounced off of Sasuke's head. He struggled to get the cart moving what with the massive weight now in it but refused to complain. It'd make his revenge all the sweeter later.

He received numerous looks when they finally entered the checkout line, but a few actually smiled at them. "How are you enjoying it down there?" Itachi asked, leaning over the side to look in.

Sasuke was now surrounded by food, most of them cold. Itachi likely had done that on purpose and now he sat there, trying not to give his brother the satisfaction of seeing him shiver. "F-fine…T-totally comf-fortable."

Itachi smiled benevolently at him, easily seeing through to the truth. However, Sasuke's position of being in the cart did come in useful during checkout as he handed over each item without him having to reach in. On the way to the door, he even indulged his little brother by pushing the cart much faster, hopping up on the back of it to cruise with him.

Except he lost control, side-swiping an elderly woman as she was entering. The two of them crashed to the ground with food rolling everywhere, the cart throwing sparks as it was scraped.

Itachi was to his feet first, immediately running over. "Obaa-chan, we are _so_ sorry! We need a medic over here!" he shouted to those that were looking on.

"I'm a medic," the woman said weakly, already healing herself. "What is _wrong_ with you young people these days?"

"Yeah, Sasuke, what's wrong with you?" Itachi pinned the blame.

"Nobody told you to go all Mario Kart in real life," Sasuke snapped at him, picking up the damaged food. "Awesome job pissing away your money, by the way."

Now that one hurt. "Hey, you were in the cart! I felt obligated to! Everyone knows that you have to ride on the back of a grocery cart at least once if it has an occupant inside. It's like…cart-pushing 101!"

"You can take your cart-pushing and shove it," the woman rebuked, standing to her feet and waving off any assistance. It was then though that she noticed that like herself, they were Uchiha. "Itachi? You're the pride of the clan, I would never expect this kind of behavior out of you!"

Sasuke hung his head. He'd rather be acknowledged and chastised than to be completely ignored.

Itachi bowed deeply to the woman. "I do regret my behavior. Please forgive me. And…please don't tell my father. It would bring him great shame." The sons of the police chief running over old ladies? Oh, the humanity!

"I won't tell Fugaku. But promise me this won't ever happen again!" She wagged her finger at them.

"Yes, ma'am," both brothers said and Sasuke joined in a respectful bow.

They stayed that way until she'd shuffled off, to which they met each other's eyes briefly. "Let's book it home," Itachi recommended and in agreement, they made a hasty retreat.

~.~.~

Sasuke lay on the wide veranda that surrounded the house, his shirt off as he tried his hardest to get cool. Why his parents refused to invest in air conditioning was beyond him but it made being in the house during summer days like this absolutely unbearable.

He felt Itachi approaching before he saw him due to the vibrations on the floor. Itachi paused, examining Sasuke's prone figure. His little brother was lying spread-eagle across a wide expanse, completely unmoving. "You planning on getting out the way anytime soon or…?"

"It's too hot to move," Sasuke complained.

"Okay…but know that if dad sees you there, he's going to intentionally trample you. So you might as well move."

"Bring me some ice and I'll move," Sasuke offered, though his tone of voice suggested that even then, he would not budge.

Itachi realized Sasuke was being unusually petulant lately. Maybe because it was so rare for them to both have time off together. It seemed he didn't mind regressing in behavior either if it meant being treated as the baby brother again. There was probably some sort of psychological definition for it but right now, Itachi called it being a pain in the ass. "I have a better idea. Let's head back into town. I stayed under my food budget so there's some things I want to look at."

Sasuke instantly bolted to his feet, getting tangled as he quickly attempted to put back on his shirt. Once he'd gotten his head through, he headed into the house from a side door. Itachi casually strode down the walkway and around the corner, arriving just in time for the front door to slide open as Sasuke emerged, wearing shoes.

As they locked up, Itachi smirked at just how quickly Sasuke changed at the promise of spending more time together. At the same time though, he felt a bit guilty. He couldn't help it that his prodigal status pulled him in multiple directions all at once. Between regular missions, occasionally helping out at the police station and being in ANBU, he had precious little time for himself, much less his brother. Going off to school was actually more of a vacation than work, a reprieve from all the expectations heaped upon him.

Though in hindsight, he'd made it worse as those expectations hadn't changed. He only added a new one with his family now anticipating him graduating sometime in the future. He didn't like to disappoint…but a dark side of him relished a bit at the thought of announcing that he was dropping out. He had paid out of his own pocket so it wasn't as though he'd thrown anyone else's money away. Yeah…perhaps he'd do that.

During his absent-mindedness, they'd entered the busy streets of Konoha. Sasuke looked around curiously before turning to Itachi. "So, what was it you wanted to look at?"

In truth, the words had simply tumbled out of Itachi's mouth and he had nothing specific in mind. As he looked around though, something indeed caught his eye. "That," he said, pointing and making his way over to a shop.

Sasuke followed his line of sight. "That's…a school uniform store. You're in a public college, you don't have a uniform." He walked over to examine some of the fabric set up outside. "Are they making kids at the academy these days wear uniforms?"

Itachi shook his head. "I think I heard something like that but it's getting a lot of backlash, especially from the female students. It's not practical to fight in a skirt," he chuckled.

"Tell that to Sailor Moon," Sasuke grunted, stepping inside the open door. "I don't think all of these are real uniforms. Some of these racks say 'cosplay'." And then Sasuke paused. "Itachi…tell me you don't cosplay."

Itachi actually snorted, covering his mouth to not be completely rude. "No, why would I need to? My life is fascinating as is. However, I mentioned earlier that I was going to embarrass you for that shopping cart thing. Welcome to your punishment round, little brother."

Sasuke crossed his arms in an X and made a buzzing sound. "Wrong, I'm not taking part in your perverted scheme. You're going to have to come up with something else."

"Perverted? Me? Never!" Itachi said with mock offense. "Alright, I'll give you a chance at redemption. Let's see…they're holding a pizza eating contest today. Beat me and you don't have to dress up. Win the contest and I'll do your chores for a month. Deal?"

"Tch, mom does all the cleaning anyways!" Sasuke pointed out. "No, if I beat you, _you're_ the one that has to dress up. How's that?"

Itachi thought on it for a moment. He examined the nearest uniform, a pink and white outfit that looked like it was ripped straight from a manga, and gulped. "Alright, I agree."

Sasuke saw his hesitancy and delighted in his fear. "Better start calling me Kobayashi 'cause I'm going for the win!" He led the way to the contest with an apprehensive Itachi following after.

* * *

Random anecdote here, playing the 4th _Ultimate Ninja Storm_ game on PS4 is what helped to relaunch my interest in Naruto again. However, this chapter reminds me of a certain team my sibling picked on there. My brother once decided to play as Jiraiya…with Sakura and Hinata in their school uniforms as his teammates :) I think we had to pause the battle before beginning because we were laughing so hard at just how fitting it was, lol!


	3. Learning from a Legend

**Learning from a Legend**

Three and a half large pizzas later and Sasuke was seriously regretting the bet. He looked over to Itachi. His brother was slowly nibbling on a slice but looked about ready to throw in the towel. _Come on, give up, damnit! Let me win! Let me be first at something, for once…instead of you getting all the glory._ But glory from who, his parents? Was he really hinging parental approval on an eating contest? What had become of him?

He looked down at his own box of pizza and felt bile rise. He honestly didn't think he could stand another bite. If he so much as licked his fingers, he was worried he'd pop. He shook his head though and redoubled his resolve. He could do this. No, he _would_ do this. This was his moment at last, his moment of triumph; let the record books show that he, Sasuke Uchiha, had—

-Barfed everything he'd eaten into a provided container specifically just for that. Fighting back dry heaves, he wanted to immediately leave the table in humiliation, but he forced his weak body to turn and look at Itachi again.

His brother had seen him. Chewing a bite, Itachi flashed a cocky V for victory sign. After that, he instantly threw back his head, half-chewed pizza in his mouth and eyes rolling up as he went comatose. The slice of pizza in his hand dangled near the ground, the slice plopping forlornly to the floor.

"We have a winner!" the contest host said, walking over to the remaining participant. As the judge held up the person's hand, the guy kept shoving more pizza in his mouth. Sasuke had just enough time to note that of course it was someone from the Akamichi clan before passing out.

He woke up some time later and groaned. His stomach hurt like hell. A nurse was standing next to him, checking his vitals. "Nurse…I think I'm pregnant," he mumbled, putting a hand on his distended stomach.

"Tch, I wish guys could give birth," she snorted. But then she wiped the expression from her face with a cheery smile. "No, Sasuke-kun, you just have a bit of a tummy ache! A little bed rest and you'll be aaall better!" She cooed to him like he was five.

Is it wrong to Chidori your caretaker? It was probably written somewhere in a rulebook. He tried for a question instead. "Where's Itachi?"

"He's outside the room and was waiting for you to wake up." Finished with her work, she started to walk away. "I'll let him know you're awake."

Itachi entered the room with a shit-eating grin. "How you feeling, little bro? Or should I worry about you spewing all over me?"

"Itachi…please. Don't make me wear it," Sasuke beseeched.

"Don't worry, I won't. Besides, the store's closed now."

Sasuke looked out the window, noticing now that it was nightfall. "Do mom and dad know?"

"What, that you passed out after blowing chunks at a pizza eating contest?" That damn smile was twice as wide.

"Yes. That," Sasuke confirmed with no amusement.

"No, they don't know that their son passed out after blowing chunks at a pizza eating contest. And if we hurry, they won't need to know." He stretched out a hand to hoist his brother up.

Sasuke would've pushed it away but he still wasn't feeling stellar. He climbed out the bed slowly, happy they'd left him dressed. "By the way, why did they bring me to the hospital anyways? They couldn't just throw water on me or something?" He slipped on his shoes at the end of the bed and checked his pockets to ensure he had everything.

"You were completely unresponsive," Itachi told him as he guided them out the room. "They got scared that you'd slipped into a food coma or something."

Feeling humiliated for the umpteenth time that day, Sasuke chose to say nothing as they headed home. He forwent dinner in favor of staying in his room.

~.~.~

The next morning, he awoke to an empty house. A note on the kitchen table had been left, Itachi's neat handwriting filling the paper: "Sasuke, mom and dad are out again. I left breakfast in the microwave. I have a short mission with Shisui today but if anything important comes up, let a jonin know and they'll pass along the message. Stay out of my bedroom. I love you."

Sasuke crumpled the note, going over to the microwave to see what it was that Itachi had made. Inside was a plate of freshly made okonomiyaki, the same thing they'd had the day before. It made him chuckle gleefully that for all of Itachi's achievements, culinary creativity was not one of them.

Once finished, he dressed and headed out. He'd gotten a text message from Sakura last night informing him that Kakashi wanted to see them today. She hadn't made it seem like it was highly important, but the meeting location was the Hokage office. Well good, he needed something to ease the summer boredom.

Outside the office door, he gave a knock before opening it a little. "Come in, come in," he heard a voice encourage and he pushed it open further. Inside, Kakashi was already there, leaning on the edge of the desk. Sakura was also there. At seeing him, the person behind the desk sighed and hung their head. "It never fails that my son is the late one, eh?" Minato smiled guiltily.

Right then, Naruto chose to burst through the door, out of breath. "I'm here, don't start the party without me! Oh, hi Dad!" he waved.

"Naruto, if you want my job one day, you're going to have to learn to be on time," Minato chastised gently. "Ask Kakashi here, back in our day, our team ran like a tightly oiled ship, isn't that right?"

Kakashi cast him a look with his eyes without turning his head away from his book. "Our team was a mess and you know it, Sensei. It's like the personalities of me, Rin and Obito carbon-copied themselves onto Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto."

With his ruse blown, Minato gave him a rueful stare. "Alright, but who's fault was it that the team was in such disrepair, hmm?"

"Obito's."

"Now, now, Kakashi, you know you weren't completely blameless~" Minato nudged.

It was quite the site indeed to then see Kakashi blush, being admonished by his old team leader in front of his own pupils. "L-let's change the subject." Turning to his charges, he cleared his throat and said, "I gathered you three here to inform you that the jonin exams are coming up in six months. The chuunin exams will be in three months. The first is going to be sponsored in Kumogakure and the other in Sunagakure. Minato, erm…the Hokage has been kind enough to approve you, Sakura, to take the jonin exam but Sasuke and Naruto, neither of you have become chuunin yet."

"Tsk-tsk, Kakashi, only one-third of your team is a chuunin? All three should be going on jonin by this age," Minato playfully scoffed. He shoved the thought away that reminded him that by the time _his_ team was that age, there wasn't a team at all. Only Kakashi remained.

"Well…you know what they say. You can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink," Kakashi shrugged.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Both Sasuke and Naruto shouted. Then Sasuke added, "I'm not a complete idiot like him!"

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, you're worse. You think you're so smart that you end up doing stupid things. Need I remind you of your little Orochimaru rebellious phase? At least when Naruto messes up, it's usually because he genuinely doesn't know any better."

"For some reason, I feel I should be offended," Naruto muttered.

Minato clapped his hands, gaining their attention again. "So, Sakura! Yay or nay on the exam?"

"Definitely a 'yay'," She said proudly.

Minato nodded at her. "And Sasuke, Naruto?"

"Count me in!" Naruto pointed a thumb at his chest.

"Of course. I can't be outdone by this bastard," Sasuke spat at the blonde.

"…You know, I'm sitting right here," Minato gave a weak smile. "Well then, happy we have that decided! Kakashi, I'm going to be minimizing your missions from now until the jonin exams are finished so that you can work with them. Oh, and Kakashi?"

Before his student could move out the way, Minato stood and pulled the man's head into a tight, 'friendly' grip. "My boy had _better_ make it." He let go and gave one of his innocent, close-eyed smiles. "'Kay?"

"Understood…" Kakashi said warily, quickly putting himself out of his teacher's reach.

"Good! Alright then, all of you are dismissed. Good luck!"

As they strode out of the office, Minato called out, "Sasuke, wait!"

Sasuke turned, lifting an eyebrow. "Something else you wanted?"

Minato ignored his bluntness, used to it due to his years of training Kakashi. "Well, it's just that…has anyone ever told you that you look sort of like Izuna Uchiha?"

 _Where's this coming from?_ "What, because all Uchiha look alike?"

"No! Geez, no need to whip out the clan card on me. Honestly though, you _do_ look like him." He pointed to a wall next to the office door where a painting hung.

Sasuke stepped closer, already dripping with skepticism. The picture showed the iconic ceremony with Hashirama Senju commemorating the creation of Konoha with the ill-fated traitor, Madara Uchiha. The rest of their clansmen stood on either side of them, but at the front of the Senju side stood a face that was quite familiar to Sasuke. It was Tobirama Senju, the second Hokage.

In the same spot on the Uchiha side, Sasuke instantly focused on a face that…eerily resembled his own, save for them being several years older. "Alright, you've got me. I'm a bit weirded out," Sasuke admitted, still staring. "Did he have any kids?"

"No, and neither did Madara. The rest of their immediate family was already dead by the time that event happened," Minato mused. "Unless…maybe Izuna had an illegitimate child." He smirked, waggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, well, I hope not," Sasuke quickly denounced. "None of us want to be related to Madara. Had he not gone rogue, everyone could've seen that the Uchiha were trying to get along with the Senju. Instead, because of him, it caused old distrusts to rise. Tobirama banished the Uchiha to a corner of the village when he came into power, and then when the Ninetails attacked sixteen years ago, Lord Third banished us _again_ to another corner of the village. It's been nothing but a domino effect and it all started with _him_."

The second banishing had come at Danzo's request with Lord Third's protests being overruled but he figured it'd make no difference to mention that. Before he could catch himself, the words, "You're actually a lot like him," tumbled out of Minato's mouth.

"What, Madara? Like hell I am."

"Indeed, like hell you are," the Hokage confirmed. "You see, it all started four score and seven years ago…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes but still went over and sat in a chair in front of the desk. He amusedly listened to the Fourth Hokage retell the story about the legendary First…

* * *

Izuna had actually passed on by the time Konoha was founded and I actually think the Uchiha intentionally kept to themselves, but that's not going to make a difference for this story. None of this is exactly canon so we're not going to sweat the minor details :)


	4. A Village Born

My oh my, a long chapter! However, this one takes a bit of a break from Sasuke and Itachi and will not have any bearing on the rest of this story. _Naruto_ gives us filler episodes; I give you filler chapters. Still, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **A Village Born**

Madara, aged twelve, stood at the edge of the crowd, watching as dirt was shoveled on top of a cheap coffin. He looked around his clan's cemetery and noticed there were several spots with fresh mounds of dirt. He'd been to so many funerals, he was starting to lose track and any time he tried to bring the issue up with anyone, especially his father and head of the Uchiha, his concerns were waved away.

Today after the funeral, as his family prepared themselves for yet another battle, he figured he'd try again. "Father…I honestly don't think this is a good idea. We've lost so many already; six funerals just this week! Don't you think that's enough?"

Tajima Uchiha looked at his eldest, shaking his head. Madara had seen him do it all too often with him and already knew his father was digging in his heels. "That's the way things are, Madara. We fight for others who cannot defend themselves and we fight to protect our own. Besides, I don't hear anyone else complaining," he gave a stern look to his son.

"That's because everyone else is dead!" Madara yelled. "Like mom!"

"Your mother wasn't killed, she left us," Tajima said bitterly.

"Oh, right…okay, what about my brothers? You had five sons. Five! Now you have two. I don't see how you don't see a problem with that," Madara huffed.

"About to be just one if you don't shut your mouth," his father muttered with just enough volume for Madara to hear.

"Father, I'm ready!" Izuna came into the room, smiling widely as he adjusted his weapons pouch. "Hi there, nii-san. You're coming too, right? Today's the day we kill the Senju, isn't that right, Father?"

Madara loved Izuna (and in truth, of his siblings, Izuna was his favorite) and would protect him with his dying breath but the way he sucked up to their father made him want to gag. "I'm sitting this one out, have fun without me," he grunted and shoved past his brother.

As they watched him go, Izuna turned back to Tajima. "What the heck's wrong with him? Anyway, let's hurry! I wanna get a good spot on the battlefield!"

~.~.~

Madara sat on the shallow bank of the river, skipping stones. He thought about the funeral earlier today and how his clan was heading right back into battle, only hours afterwards. In just his lifetime, their numbers had been cut down to nearly half. Was there something wrong with him to be the only one to care about that? Everyone else in the clan was happy for "an eye for an eye" and while he did enjoy fighting, he wasn't blind to how this back and forth was getting them nowhere.

He lay back, closing his eyes and enjoying the leaves as they waved above him. He'd started to drift off when he heard a loud _plop_ from the river. Initially, he thought it might be a fish jumping up, but when the soft sounds continued, he immediately sat up, pulling a shuriken out.

From across the river, he saw a boy about his age with the absolute worst haircut he'd ever seen. The strands were cut in chunks that looked blocky and the ends seemed frayed and uneven. Madara felt relieved that he'd taken great lengths to protect his growing locks from falling into inexperienced hands, never allowing anyone to touch his hair but him. It was his pride and joy.

There was something about the other boy that looked relatively unassuming but he couldn't be sure. Enemies often hid in plain sight. "Hey you! This is my spot; scram!"

Madara _knew_ he'd heard him, but the boy continued to skip rocks on the river. As he followed one with his eyes, he noticed in dismay that the kid was a much better skipper than him. His own rocks always sank after tapping the water once or twice. So, not only had he intruded on his precious spot, he was showing him up as well and was ignoring him! Three strikes in less than two minutes…this kid was asking for it.

Pushing up his pants legs to keep them from getting wet, he waded the shallow river to the other side. Upon reaching there, the other boy looked up and smiled brightly. "Hi! My name's Hashirama! It's really cool to meet—"

But the Uchiha didn't let him finish. He'd snatched the kid's shirt and shoved him to the ground, kneeling over him with a raised fist. "I said leave! This is my spot! I was here first and I'm not sharing!" _And you're making me look bad_ , he didn't dare to add.

But if Hashirama was offended, he didn't show it. "I'm sorry, I never meant to offend you. But…this is a public river. It's not claimed by anyone so everyone can use it."

Madara felt his hand shake, getting more upset. "It borders my clan's territory so I say it's closer to being my river than anyone else's!"

"What clan are you from?" The other boy asked, very innocently.

"The—" But he stopped himself. Should he tell him? If he announced he was an Uchiha and this kid was from the Senju, he already had him in checkmate and could probably make short work of him. Then again…his clan had paid the price heavily for underestimating the Senju, mainly due to them not having a kekkei genkai like the Uchiha. Many thought this deficiency made them inferior to the Uchiha, but Madara knew better. The Senju were wily foes and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Instead, he covered for his pause by saying, "My clan's not important. Why don't you leave here and we'll drop the whole thing, 'kay?" He pulled back, letting him up.

"How nice of you to not beat me up over using _public_ land," Hashirama smiled and enjoyed the furious blush that formed on the others' face.

"I _did_ mark my territory here," Madara mumbled. "I took a leak in the river." Maybe this would scare him off.

"Haha…that's gross, but when you gotta go, you gotta go," he smiled all the wider. "Say, what's your name? I don't think you ever said it."

"…Madara." He'd initially put his shuriken back so that it wouldn't be so obvious that he was from a fighting clan but now, he subtly reached behind him again.

Hashirama gave a nod. "Madara. I like it. But if you mark territory like a dog, maybe I should call you something like 'Inudara' or something. Your hair is pretty thick too, like fur. So, considering we're still young, maybe…Inudara-chan!"

Oh, that was it. Madara immediately flung himself at Hashirama. He'd like to say that he beat him well and sound, but the boy held his own and halfway through it, their fight dissolved into playful roughhousing. Madara missed this, having all but forgotten what it was like to just be a kid and to play with others his age.

Afterwards, the two lay panting and giggling beside each other, conceding a draw. The night sky was beginning to come out and Hashirama lifted his arm up, stretching it towards the starry sky. "I've not had fun like that in a long time," he confessed, not looking over. "My father…is really strict. Almost like a general." He bit his tongue and looked fearfully over to Madara. That was way too much information, but Madara made him feel rather relaxed and he almost couldn't help but let the words tumble out.

As for Madara, he'd caught the hint but was hesitant to press further. This boy could very well be from his family's sworn enemy's clan but if so…he seemed reluctant to attack. As Hashirama had, he decided to lay some bait and see if he bit. "Yeah, my father's the same way and likes to give a lot of orders. But my younger brother adores him. Little suck-up," he frowned, but waited.

Two different sides and fathers like generals. Hashirama was starting to feel his suspicions were correct. Pushing it a bit further he said, "I used to have four brothers. Now though…I only have two. Me, dad and Tobi are all that's left of the family," he said sadly, but still waited, holding his breath.

Madara took the bait, but laid another trap of his own. "I was the eldest of _five_ brothers," he said, with almost a note of pride. "But mom left us. She couldn't stand all the fi—conflict. And then my youngest three brothers died…and so there's just Father, Izuna and I."

He hadn't meant for it to, but the words came out much sadder than he'd intended. This left his defenses down so that when Hashirama moved closer to him, he wasn't ready. As he lay there, he felt a hand grab his and squeeze tightly and then heard a sniffle. He looked over to Hashirama and was horrified to see a river of tears and snot running down his face.

"That's…*sniff*…so sad! Three brothers and your mom left you? It's so tragic!"

All of Madara's tension deflated out of him. He couldn't keep up with this kid. If he should kill him then and there, then so be it. At least he'd lived his final hours in happiness. He squeezed Hashirama's hand back and decided that from now on, they'd be friends.

~.~.~

Naturally, it wasn't to last, though. Each of their younger brothers followed them one day to see them meeting and relayed the information back to their respective clans. While a brawl was avoided when the two clans confronted each other at that time, Madara didn't talk to Izuna for a week afterwards, wholly upset that his brother would snitch. In hindsight, he probably shouldn't have been so surprised.

His anger at his brother finally ebbed when, as the years passed, more comrades died and their scarce numbers dwindled further. Then, his father died.

And at last, Izuna died.

Embroiled in rage, Madara took the helm of the Uchiha, swearing vengeance. There was only one small problem though: nobody wanted to fight anymore.

"They have slain our families! How can you not want retribution?" He tried to rile up some morale amongst the clan during a meeting. "My father is dead! My brother was slain by that…freak of nature's brother, Tobirama! Seriously, who wears fur in the middle of summer? What the hell is he, half polar bear?! Anyways! Do you want to know what my brother said to me with his dying breath?"

"Who cares?" Someone shouted out, rubbing a pinky in their ear with complete disinterest. "It's no secret that you stole his eyes. You're probably happy for his death."

Madara threw a shuriken, pleased when it scraped the man's cheek and a thin trail of blood spilled. "Izuna and I may have had our differences, but I loved my brother. He _gave_ me these eyes and told me to not give in to the Senju. Now I ask again, who here stands with me? Who will once and for all rise to exterminate our greatest foe? Who amongst us will rip apart their bodies, dissect their entrails, crack their bones and feast upon the marrow!?"

At their disgusted looks, he realized he'd gone too far. Wiping his mouth from the froth that'd begun to form, he cleared his throat. "Fighting is all we have. If we're not fighting, what's left for us to do?" Considering not only their clan but the Senju were contract killers for feudal lords and other clans, it was all their family had ever known.

Someone raised a hand. "I want to be a sculptor."

"I can bake!" Another said.

"A novelist!" Someone from the back added.

"A porn star!" A voice shouted.

"HELL YEAH!" the others encouraged.

"We're only limited by our imagination!" The man that'd been cut said, standing up. "Our imagination…and this endless fight with the Senju. Hashirama Senju has long since extended the olive branch. I say it's way past due that we accept it!"

As his clan began to cheer, they rose up together and marched out of the meeting hall, leaving Madara to reluctantly follow after.

Within the month, the two clans had officially signed a treaty that listed the two as allies. Within three months, with much help from Hashirama's Wood Style jutsu, Konoha was built. Hashirama won the seat for Hokage, of course, even after Madara ran an aggressive campaign under the mantra "Make the Land of Fire Great Again." He lost out to Hashirama's "A Change Shinobi Can Believe In" platform, which promised to spare young children from combat.

Two years after its founding, Madara found that he'd grown restless. While their village received numerous assignment requests, they had to be shared with everyone else and he found he had way too much time to do…nothing.

"Maybe I should get married," he considered, lying shirtless on the wrap-around veranda of his new home. The high walls surrounding the house blocked him from any prying eyes. "Then again, the pickings are slim. Over my dead body will I ever marry a Senju. The women from the Inuzuka clan are too aggressive for my taste. The Hyuga would probably like nothing more than to have the Sharingan in their bloodline; everyone knows the Byakugan is just a Sharingan knock-off. And we Uchiha breed with each other so often, it's a wonder none of us have a child with two heads yet."

But he knew he wouldn't like marriage life. His image of the female species went no further than cooking, child rearing and nagging. Oh, and bailing when the going got tough but a small voice told him that was his "mommy issues" speaking. Not liking where his thoughts were going, he decided to take a walk to clear his head.

As he prowled the streets, he noticed a distant sound of tools, the sound of a pick on stone. He looked up, already knowing what it was. Since Hashirama's inauguration, one of his own clansmen, the sculptor, had been hard at work carving the Hokage's face into the cliff that enclosed Konoha. In time, they would surround the entire village, the faces of their protectors watching over them.

It made him sick.

However, it looked as though his luck was turning for the better when on a mission, he stumbled upon the Nine Tails sleeping in a cave. The moment he entered, it woke up, backing away towards the rear of the cave with its hackles raised. The Kyuubi knew it held a power many sought and had no desire to ever be tamed by the likes of humans.

Madara looked the demon in the eye directly, refusing to back down. He reached out a hand…and knelt. "D'aww, you're just the cutest!" he scratched the Kyuubi behind the ears. The feared demon was no bigger than a large cat and stared up at him with wide, frightened red eyes. "You're just a tiny wittle baby! Who's a cute Kyuubi? Who's an adorable wittle Kyuubi!"

Kurama would've loved to have bitten his hand, but dear Kami, scratches behind his ears were his weakness. When Madara moved his hand down to scratch his chest, he completely gave in and rolled on his back, all but purring when his stomach was rubbed.

With its submission, Madara activated the Sharingan and implanted a command for obedience. Scooping up the fox, he took it with him, smiling a malicious smile as he continued to pet it. Konoha was about to have a very big surprise…

However, while his plan had seemed foolproof at the time, leave it to Hashirama to bring him back to reality. The two faced off against each other, Hashirama surfing a wave of trees and earth, and Madara riding the Nine Tails. _After all our battles, how does he still fail to not remember that fire burns wood?_ He shook his head in amusement. Out loud to his rival he said, "I have a new technique, one that will wipe you, at long last, into oblivion!"

Atop Kurama, he put his fingers together and called out deeply, "Fire Style: Dragon Flame Loud Singing Jutsu!"

The fight took place in what would later be called the Valley of the End. As the attack was shouted, Hashirama peered around him, an eyebrow raised as Madara's booming voice continued to echo "Jutsu!...Jutsu!...jutsu…" off the canyon walls. The attack itself was rather flashy, a trail of flames that swirled and slithered much like a dragon…but where his wood would've indeed been incinerated, his Earth style easily quenched the flames, leaving Madara staring at him, dumbfounded.

"I put my best dramatic voice behind that, that should've ended you!" He shouted, utterly stunned.

"…Never knew that was a requirement," Hashirama scratched his cheek sheepishly. "If so, then how about this…Sage Art Wood Style: True Several Thousand Hands Sealing Jutsu!"

From the ground rose a monument that dwarfed even a transformed Nine Tails, a pillar of hardened wood carved out with a Buddha-like figure in the center which was encircled by several thousand hands. "Give it up, Madara!" he shouted, his voice now equally deep and theatric. "You don't stand a ghost of a chance!"

Madara stared at him from atop Kyuubi and groaned, even this noise resounding in the following quiet. "I hate you _so_ much."

"What? I thought it was a good one!" Hashirama defended himself. "Either way, this is the end, old friend. Any last words?"

"Please kill me before I have to hear another cliché," Madara begged, not putting up any resistance. There was no way he could escape the range of the sealing jutsu.

Hashirama nodded in understanding. "I honestly looked up to you, you know. I'm going to miss you. Goodbye, and…I love you."

"Don't go there," Madara winced.

"Brotherly love, dumbass!" Hashirama swore for perhaps the first time. He brought his hands together, finishing the technique. Each face on the monument began to glow and a thousand rays of light lit up the night sky. Madara…was no more (or so he thought). However, a seal had been formed under the fox demon, allowing him to subdue it. The massive demon shrunk back down, giving a sad mewl at the loss of its powers.

Hashirama came forth and picked it up, stroking its ears much the same way Madara had done. "I'm sorry, little guy. This isn't your fault. You're just unfortunately caught in the middle. However, I think I have somewhere in mind for you where you'll be safe."

The next day, he gifted the Nine Tails to the Uzumaki clan.

~.~.~

"And that, Sasuke, is the story of the founding of our village," Minato said, beaming happily. There was something beautiful about passing on one's history and knowledge to the next generation.

Instead, Sasuke said, "For that last fight, nobody was there. How would _you_ know the specifics of what happened?"

"Easy, I have one third of Kurama," he supplied, putting a hand on his stomach. "Isn't what I said correct, Kurama?"

 _Leave me out of this, human,_ Kurama responded.

"Kurama says yes," Minato relayed.

Sasuke rolled that around for a moment. "It's been split into thirds? Why?"

Minato sighed, looking out the window and down on the village. "The attack from sixteen years ago. We still don't know who did that. But the night Naruto was born, Kurama was again possessed. Kushina needed to retain part of the Nine Tails to continue living. I took a part so that she wouldn't have to bear so much alone. And we gave a part to Naruto because it would give him a challenge to overcome and if one of us were to have the demon stolen, it would only be a third as opposed to an entire half. This said, it makes it easier to protect each other with each of us being so close, instead of giving one part to a completely different village."

"So you're just going to hoard that power amongst yourselves, is that correct?" Sasuke asked, folding his arms and sitting back.

"The Nine Tails has been within the Land of Fire for years. Splitting a Tailed Beast into multiple parts is difficult as is, so very few other nations could even fathom doing it. Not to mention, no agreement was ever signed that said a split Tailed Beast has to be shared amongst other villages or nations. At the current time, Kurama is in our care; how we choose to divide up that power within Konoha is only our business. Sasuke…what you said sounds like something Madara would say," Minato peered over folded hands, looking worried.

The teen stood up, affronted. "So just _asking_ a simple question automatically puts me on your watchlist? We already know the village is monitoring us. What's next, cameras in our house? Microphones in our stores? What will it take for you people to trust us?!"

"I didn't mean…" Minato faltered.

"It doesn't matter. I think it's best I leave before I do something that causes my clan to be ousted completely." He exited the office, slamming the door. The painting of the alliance of the Uchiha and the Senju trembled violently, but kept its hold, continuing to overlook the office as it had for years.

 _You really screwed the pooch on that one, didn't you?_ Kurama chortled.

"Meh, teenagers. Give it a week, he'll be fine." Minato stretched, giving a big yawn. "Let's go out for some fresh air! I'm tired of being cooped up in here."

 _You have a meeting at one, a conference call with the other Kage at three and over a hundred important notifications to read, sign and send back out. Oh, and…the half of me that's in Kushina told me to tell you that she wants you to bring home a loaf of garlic bread for dinner. And to pick up her dress from the dry cleaners._

"Yes, ma'am," Minato whimpered, slumping in his seat as his fun was quickly spoiled.

* * *

Madara's English voice actor from the _Ultimate Ninja Storm 4_ game made me fall in love with the character and I knew I had to have a chapter dedicated to him :)

I also wrote this chapter without internet access initially, though before posting, I was able to take a look at the Naruto Wikia (my savior for all my Naruto stories recently). Imagine my surprise that while I knew Hashirama gave Kurama to the Uzumaki, I didn't know his wife, from the same clan, became the jinchuriki! She then gave Kurama over to Naruto's mother. So…Naruto is distantly related to the Senju, and to a very small extent, Tsunade. I don't think I'll use that info for this story but maybe it'll prove useful sometime in the future.


	5. Follow the Breadcrumbs

Perhaps a little less comedy in this chapter in lieu of more action. Also…this chapter gets a bit weird :)

* * *

 **Follow the Breadcrumbs**

By the time Sasuke returned home, Itachi had returned as well. However, he froze and narrowed his eyes dangerously when he saw that his brother had company. _Shisui_.

"Hey there, kiddo," Shisui greeted, giving a wave as the two sat beside each other on the wide open porch. "Whatcha up to?"

Sasuke didn't answer him, turning his attention instead to Itachi. "In three months, I'm going to take the chuunin exams and three months after that, I'm going to take the jonin exam. I want your help." If there was ever a chance for him to surpass Naruto, this was it.

"Wow, aren't you Mr. Confident!" Shisui laughed and Itachi joined him. Both missed Sasuke's darkening scowl. "Neither Itachi nor I made the leap quite that fast and we're considered prodigies."

There was a strong emotion that swelled within Sasuke that caused his eyes to sting but he kept his attention focused on his brother. "Do you have any free time? _Now_?"

But Shisui answered again, shaking his head. "He just got back from a mission, give him a chance to breathe! But if you want, I don't mind training you—"

"I don't want your help!" Sasuke finally shouted, fighting not to activate his Sharingan.

"Sasuke!" Itachi immediately reproached him. "Apologize!"

But Sasuke wouldn't. "No! All he ever does is rub it in my face that you two are geniuses. We get it, you broke all kinds of records for the Uchiha. You don't have to be so damn smug about it!"

Shisui looked to Itachi incredulously, as though to say, _are you getting all this?_ Looking back to Sasuke he said, "Interesting you call me smug when you're probably the snarkiest person I know. I think being upset about the prodigy thing is just a cover. You've never liked me for some reason." He thought on that for a moment, then suddenly smiled. "It's not because I'm keeping Itachi from you, is it?"

"N-no!" Sasuke quickly denied, his face heating up.

"I mean, I do spend a lot of time with him…much more than you." Shisui moved his hand on the porch to where just the pinky was resting over Itachi's. "Over the years, he and I have gotten _very_ close."

Itachi took his hand back and cast him a glare. "Don't put ideas in his head. Besides, we're cousins."

"Actually, that was a polite term your parents encouraged, figuring it'd look good if you looked up to me," Shisui informed him all-knowingly. "We might be related by some distant marriage or something, but we're not blood relatives. You'd know this if you took a moment to study the Uchiha family tree in the shrine."

This was more than Sasuke could bear and he stomped off. "Never mind, forget I asked."

Shisui had looped an arm casually over Itachi's shoulders but at hearing Sasuke's words, Itachi pushed away, following him inside. "I'd actually be happy to train you," he said, trailing his brother as he pounded loudly on the stairs to his room. "I can't train you every day, unfortunately, but Kakashi will likely want you to train with the team. Don't let what Shisui said get under your skin. No matter what, I'll never be too busy to spend a little time with you. Not anymore."

Before going into his room, Sasuke paused and looked at him. "You promise?" he asked.

That seriousness that shone in those deep eyes had always been a bit amusing to Itachi and now was no different. Looking at Sasuke as he pouted, he was reminded of when he was little, sulking at their playtime having been cut short due to one thing or another. "I promise," he said.

Sasuke tucked up only a corner of his mouth before opening the door. Before he could go in though, they both heard their mother yell, "Stop with all the stomping! I didn't give birth to elephants!"

The two snickered and Sasuke quickly ducked into his room.

~.~.~

Fifteen minutes later, Sasuke met Itachi in a training location, with Shisui blessedly absent. "In truth, there's not a whole lot I can cover with you since the main thing they're going to focus on is team work," Itachi told him, dressed in his (Alpha Sigma Phi) Akatsuki robe. "You have an issue with playing nicely with others so try not to be so stubborn when Kakashi keeps stressing that, alright?" He grinned.

Sasuke already knew this and didn't relish it. Naruto was going to slow him down, but Team 7, and definitely Minato, would never let him live it down if he sought a different partner. Besides, he at least was familiar with Naruto's skill set; three months wasn't much time to become accustomed to someone new entirely. To Itachi's question, he replied, "I got it. I'll behave."

Atta boy. "Alright, first, there's usually a capture the flag game involved. While you were getting your equipment together, I went ahead and placed a flag at the top of the Hokage tower. You and I are going to race to it. Anything goes and neither of us will show the other mercy."

Getting into a ready position, the younger brother scoffed. "I'd be insulted if you went easy on me."

Itachi felt a blossom of pride well up for his little brother. "I figured as much. Let's get started then. On your mark…get set…go!"

And just like that, Itachi vanished.

"Hmph, I'm not going to be fooled like that," Sasuke muttered, instantly springing into the trees. He dashed ahead swiftly until he was out of the woods surrounding the Uchiha training ground. From there, he jumped onto the roof of the nearest house and ran, scanning around. Then he heard a cry from above; in the sky, a flock of crows beelined for the Tower.

Instantly, he weaved his hand into several signs, mentally calling _Fire Style: Great Fireball Jutsu!_

The birds squawked loudly before exploding into one massive plume of black feathers, as though someone had ripped up a warehouse of gothic pillows. He brushed them aside as he fell back onto a roof, giving a grunt that Itachi must have substituted out of his attack. Damn, he should've known that was nothing but a distraction. No matter, he had plenty of ways to make up for the lost time. Biting his finger to spill blood, he again weaved several signs before slamming his palm down. Instantly, a massive hawk perched before him and wordlessly, he hopped on and steered it towards the goal.

At least, that was his intention. The moment he gained height, a voice from below shouted, "Susano'o!" Sasuke only had half a second to notice the massive orange form before a hand rose and smacked him back down. The hawk instantly poofed, as though it'd been nothing more than a shadow clone, and his own body smashed painfully to the ground. He rolled several dozens of times before skidding to a halt, the world spinning and his ears ringing.

Lying on his back in the middle of the street, he saw Itachi now on top of another roof, still mostly human save for the orange Susano'o, which was quickly dissipating. For half a second, Sasuke watched as indecision played across his face, the choice to stop and help his brother or to keep going. With a look of pain, Itachi moved on, though gave him a backwards glance.

Sasuke pushed himself up, feeling like his brain was still bouncing around in his skull. "The fuck was that?!" he muttered, pulling his sword out of its sheath as he again jumped to a roof. Never had he heard of…what was it? Susano'o? Where did Itachi learn something like that? And _when_? Perhaps it was when he was off at school…

"What kind of university teaches that kind of jutsu?" he could only wonder. Way ahead, he could see Itachi as almost nothing more than a darting spec. One more time, he performed a Great Fireball Jutsu, but this time, he launched it into the sky.

With the collision of the atmosphere, the once white clouds became a deep, stormy gray. He skid to a stop, hating that he hadn't perfected this technique to the point of using it while in motion, but he concentrated on Itachi's moving form. Raising his sword up, he called out " _Kirin!_ " and used his sword to direct the attack.

The first one missed. As did the second. But the third hit with the satisfaction of a loud yell coming from Itachi as a bolt of lightning struck him. Sasuke witnessed with sickening pleasure as his brother fell down and stayed down.

He caught up to him, putting a sleeve over his nose at the smell of burnt skin and hair. Cautiously, he nudged him with a foot, hoping he hadn't killed him. "Itachi? You gonna be okay?"

 _POOF!_ The figure on the ground vanished with another flock of crows squawking loudly as they flew away.

Sasuke didn't wait a second longer. He again made for the destination, kicking himself furiously. How the hell had he fallen for that _twice_? It was the oldest ninja trick in the book! Was he getting soft? He refused to believe so.

Ahead, the Hokage tower loomed, the massive red building with the roof deck that allowed a complete view of the village. Atop it, he could see the blue flag which was rumpled and flat, pitifully waiting for someone to wave it, breathing in new life. Sasuke poured on the speed that much harder, not seeing Itachi in sight, but he knew that meant nothing.

This was too good to be true and Sasuke wasn't buying it. Just as he reached the roof of the building, completely within arm's reach of the flag, he stopped. This didn't feel right. In the best case scenario, he and Itachi should've been reaching the flag simultaneously, not him winning by a landslide. Not just that, but it was way too quiet around here…

"Release!" he commanded for a genjutsu, feeling a trail of sweat run down his neck.

As though that were the magical word, Itachi appeared, materializing almost from nothing. "Well then, looks like you reached the flag first," he said with a gentle smile. "Congratulations."

Sasuke took a step back as he advanced. "I'm not buying this. If you were already here, why didn't you grab the flag?"

Itachi paused, making a soft noise as he thought. "Well, truth be told, I already have. I've been waiting here for the last half hour for you to join me." He walked closer, not minding when Sasuke again backed away. "It's too late to run, I'm afraid. The most I'm able to do now is give you a _push._ " He used his fingers to rap Sasuke's forehead, the same way he'd affectionately done for the last sixteen years.

When Sasuke blinked, he wasn't on the Hokage tower anymore. He was almost back at the beginning, standing on a roof in a sea of houses within the village. From above, he heard a cry of crows. The exact crows he had incinerated…

He clenched a fist, wanting to punch something. What a novice Uchiha mistake to get caught in someone's genjutsu. Usually, the Sharingan was a great tool for dispelling anyone else's genjutsu, but even with his activated, he knew he'd been had. Maybe there'd be a detail if he continued on…

Following his previous footsteps, he jumped in the air, giving the birds a hearty Fireball jutsu. They vanished into feathers, leaving the way clear for Sasuke to summon his hawk. Just as he was taking off, he saw the massive orange humanoid and felt his teeth click as he was yet again knocked down to the pavement.

His eyes met Itachi's as he looked down at him from the roof before his brother continued on, but Sasuke wondered if that might've been the moment the jutsu was cast. It was certainly a possibility but he didn't want to rule any other moments out. So far though, he'd found no clues and thus got up and continued his hunt. No matter how tough the opponent, every genjutsu had a weakness and even the great and mighty Itachi wasn't impervious to that fact.

So, yet again he used his fire to create lightning to once more strike down Itachi, the same Itachi that then burst into crows. But minutes later, he was back on the tower, facing his brother with no changes. Itachi looked at him sadly, clicking his tongue and shaking his head. "You still haven't seen to the truth, little brother. Once you accept fate as it is, you will at last be released from this cycle."

"You sound like Neji," Sasuke muttered irritably.

Itachi shrugged. "I have a Hyuga or two in the ANBU with me. But Sasuke, you've still not obtained your enlightenment. I'll do everything in my power to help you, but the ultimate realization needs to come from you. So…here we go again." He rapped Sasuke's forehead before he could stop him and thus was gone.

Sasuke once more was back at the beginning. The crows circled above, as though waiting on his next move. Frustrated, he repeated everything all over again, still looking for any signs. And again. And still, once again. By the time he'd reached his fifth cycle of repeating what was only supposed to be a training exercise, he was at his breaking limit.

"I've had enough, Itachi! What the hell else do you want from me?" He screamed at the flock of birds that were put back above him.

This time though, they flew down to him and solidified. Itachi walked towards him, hands calmly in his robe pockets. "So do you finally see the truth now? The truth that's been in front of you this entire time?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I know the truth that you're an annoying weasel, but I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to teach me. You make a piss-poor teacher."

Itachi only smiled. "Have you ever heard of the Izanami, Sasuke? It dooms the one its been cast on to repeat a moment in time until they own up to their mistakes. There's no release for it…other than your own confession of truth."

"There you go again! How am I supposed to know what 'truth' I'm confessing to? Since you seem to have all the answers, why not _enlighten_ me?" Sasuke had had enough of Itachi's cryptic game.

"The answer is simple: you will never beat me. Forever and always, you shall walk in my shadow."

A long moment of silence followed as Sasuke stared him down. "You're shitting me, right?"

Itachi continued to stare at him casually, as though they were talking only about the weather. "I'm not. You've always been obsessed with power and with besting me one day. Well I'm here to tell you to give it up. Kill that dream and bury it, just like we buried that Akita you owned."

Sasuke loudly gasped. "You told me he ran away!"

"…Did we? Damn, I forgot that was the lie mom and dad told me to tell you. Yeah, no, sorry. I gave him a box of raisins not knowing they were harmful to dogs and he died. But he went peacefully! I mean…other than his heart constantly starting and stopping and the violent seizures and the foam coming from his mouth—"

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up! Sasuke covered his ears and fell to his knees. "Release me from this genjutsu. I need to get away from you."

His brother shook his head. "I already told you, _I can't_. Only you can release it."

Sasuke slowly looked up at him, slowly shaking his head. "I don't understand why you decided to do this now. You know I'm about to do the chuunin and jonin exams. Why now did you feel the need to kick me back down?"

"Because your fanaticism with power is putting a wedge between you and everyone that cares for you. Including me, Sasuke." Itachi knelt down in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. To his own surprise, Sasuke didn't shake it off. "While your abilities indeed will continue to grow, so will mine. It'll always be a game of catch up. Unless, I don't know, I maybe get some kind of vague and mysterious illness that weakens me, allowing you to defeat me by a technicality. Other than that, I'll always be one step ahead of you. The most you could ever hope to achieve is being only my equal. I'm…sorry. That's just how it is."

And Sasuke indeed did know this to be true. He would forever be the kid chasing after his older brother's back and trying to keep up. It was a truth he'd never wanted to admit to but in this endless cycle, he had no choice but to do just that. At last, he nodded, hanging his head. "I understand. You're completely right."

Like a virtual world dissolving, Konoha became fragmented and the pieces were blown away. Instead of the random roof they'd been talking on, Sasuke looked around him to notice that he was at the Uchiha training grounds. His body was positioned to begin running, starting the race…but Itachi was absent.

"So you finally snapped out of it, huh?" that familiar voice said and Itachi walked into the clearing, twirling the blue flag in his hands. "I don't think I've ever had anyone take so long to escape that jutsu! You really are a stubborn one. But…why are you looking at me like that?"

Sasuke stared at him with a gleeful smile, his Sharingan shining bright in the red, setting sun. "Because…at last, I've won! I've finally beaten you!" Sasuke threw back his head and laughed, as though he were trying to mimic the most cliché of villains.

However, Itachi blinked and looked down…to see the flag was missing. Instead, it was in Sasuke's hand and he twirled it happily around. "I already knew you were going to try a genjutu on me," his younger brother bragged proudly. "So, I used a genjutu to make you only think you'd used a genjutsu on me. You've been at the start the entire time."

But Itachi shook his head, giving a small sigh. "Oh Sasuke…you've still lost. How can you cast a genjutsu on me where I reveal the Izanami to you when you never knew what the Izanami was to begin with? Unfortunately, dear brother, that's impossible."

Floored at this revelation, Sasuke again looked down to find the flag was once again gone, instead back in Itachi's hands. "But… _how?_ " he sputtered.

"I too put a genjutsu on you where you thought you'd put a genjutsu on me and then cast the Izanami over that genjutsu as well," Itachi said, entirely pleased with himself. "So, _I'm_ still the winner."

Except the perception shifted yet again and once more, Sasuke held the flag. "I might not know what the Izanami is but I've certainly heard of the Izanagi," he countered, flinging the flag into the air like a baton and catching it in a tight grip. "This time, you've been crushed!"

"No…that's impossible!" Itachi shouted almost comically. "Not the Izanagi! How do you even know it?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Spent a bit of time with Danzo. I cast the Izanagi at the start, creating a new fold of events where you performed a genjutsu on me where I thought I put a genjutsu on you, and where instead you thought you'd cast an even stronger genjutsu on me, one of your choosing—you chose the Izanami—which would cover your tracks. Everything that's played out has been in accordance to my Izanagi! So, if we're finally done here…I am the victor!"

"And you're wrong again!" Itachi declared. At just those simple words, the flag was back in his hand as their previous surroundings broke apart, though they were still within the training grounds. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice that you'd been spending time with Danzo? Though I sometimes do work for him, I don't trust him and so at times, I'd follow you , all to find that you'd been taking a few lessons from him. In just by watching you two, I too learned the Izanagi!"

Sasuke gasped, flinching back. "That can't be! There's no way that can be true!"

"Oh, it's true alright," Itachi smirked. "I've already cast the Izanagi, making you think you cast the Izanagi as well, where you thought you'd created a new path of events in which I cast a genjutsu on you but you think you've cast a genjutsu over me which would've saved you from the Izanami, though the Izanami was already successfully cast. We can keep doing this all day, Sasuke. It's your call."

And here, really and truly, Sasuke knew he'd been outwitted. He slumped to his knees once more, giving the ground a punch that was softened by the grass. "And I was _so_ close!"

Itachi came over and kindly stuck the flag in the ground in front of him. "You were, indeed you were. Considering all of this had already been determined by my Izanagi, my Izanami was a lie. In time, I'm sure you'll be able to beat me. I said you couldn't only to push you harder, but don't give up on yourself." He gave a small hug to Sasuke, who didn't look up from the ground, before walking away in the direction towards home.

For a long time, Sasuke remained there, unmoving, wondering only one thing: "What the fuck just happened?"

* * *

This story won't be about Sasuke's exams though I don't mind having mini plots in here considering I pretty much don't want an official plot :)

Also, I had Itachi make a reference here to something said by Tobi/Madara/Obito about his death from episode 141. Only very, _very_ briefly did he mention to Sasuke in the anime that Itachi had been sick, which is why he expended all of his energy in his and Sasuke's last fight while he was alive. I believe it's because of this illness that Sasuke in truth was not the one to kill Itachi. I've not read the manga, but is there any further information given about that? The fact that they'd just toss that info out there with no background details has never made sense to me :)


	6. Sibling Sleuthing

**Sibling Sleuthing**

Sasuke was startled awake the next morning at the sound of his own voice groaning. After the one-upping competition with genjutsu from the day before, his eyes hurt and he protested loudly against the sunlight. With another grunt, he got up and ripped the curtains closed, enveloping the room in darkness. Ahh, much better.

From downstairs, he heard a distinctive "whisper", the sound of someone moving a sliding door but in the hopes of remaining silent. Likely, it was just Itachi…but what reason did Itachi have to sneak out? Sasuke wanted to shrug it off, but the idea nagged at him. His brother could be an enigma, hiding behind that carefully crafted mask, that persona that strove to please everyone. Wouldn't it be nice to find out a deep secret about him?

The opportunity was too good and against the protest of his eyes, he quickly dressed and exited the sanctity of his dark room to rush down the stairs. In the entryway, he scanned the shelf beside the door and found that Itachi's shoes were missing. _I knew it!_ Slipping his shoes on quickly, he did his best to chase after his brother.

Soon though, he slowed down. If their training from yesterday had taught him anything, Itachi was…unfortunately…too much for him to handle on his own at this time. This mission would require some reinforcements. His mind flitted to the idea of Shisui, but immediately his stomach roiled in disgust. It was a high possibility that Shisui knew just as much, if not more, about his brother and that fact alone pissed him off. Logically, he made the best person to go to, but it'd be a blizzard in hell before he ever asked for his assistance.

As he slowly walked the streets of Konoha, he spotted a familiar form headed his way. With little care, he stepped in the person's path and blocked them.

Kakashi looked down at Sasuke, lowering his book from his face. "Hm? Something you wanted, Sasuke?" he asked curiously but then his face fell from behind his mask as he muttered, "It's seven in the morning, what are you up to?"

"You're right, it is seven in the morning. What are _you_ up to?" Sasuke easily countered.

Kakashi's forehead broke in a sweat, even in the cool temperature. "…Touché. What's on your mind?"

"I'm tracking Itachi but…I'm not strong enough to do it on my own," he admitted with self-loathing. "You were in the ANBU with my brother, so I want you to help me find him."

Closing his book and putting it in his back pouch, Kakshi put his hands in his pockets and shook his head. "I'm not following. I mean, I get that we're following Itachi. But why? If this is some sort of training, shouldn't you be doing that on your own? You won't have my assistance in the chuunin exam, you know—"

"Like I don't already know that!" Sasuke cut him off, wholly sick and tired of hearing that line repeated to him. "Look, are you going to help me or not?"

"Not. I'm…busy at the moment," Kakashi said distractedly, and weaved around him to continue on his way.

"Tch," the Uchiha spat, until his eyes noticed a large billboard that'd recently been put up. It was a movie advertisement, _Fifty Shades of Icha Icha Paradise_. So that's what it was; Kakashi was too distracted with the midnight release of the movie. Fine then, he'd just have to get someone else to help him.

As he rounded a corner, he saw the village clinic come into view and noticed Sakura pacing back and forth outside, muttering quietly to herself. He drew closer to hear, curious as to what she was doing. Anxious pacing wasn't like Sakura at all.

"Stupid, chauvinistic pig! Has the audacity to tell me I should be more girly! Who the hell does he think I am? I come to work to take care of sick people, not show my tits off or something—" She froze as she noticed Sasuke standing on the street, watching her. "O-oh, hi Sasuke! Um…how long have you been standing there?"

He smirked and gave a knowing look. "Long enough to hear everything. Sounds like a rough morning so far and it's not even eight."

For a moment, Sakura thought about turning on the charm as this was the first time she'd been alone with Sasuke in…well, years. But she found she honestly was not in the mood, and she didn't bother with adjusting her slumped shoulders. "Yeah, I was asked to work over night but one of my patients is being pretty difficult. But I'm off duty now so I don't have to see the creep for a while. Say…what are you doing up so early?"

"Hunting down Itachi," Sasuke shrugged, looking around. He knew his brother was long gone by now, but that didn't mean he had to give up completely. "If you're not busy, want to help?"

For a moment, Sakura could do nothing but stare dumbly at him. "You want _me_ to help you?" she repeated.

"No different from when we'd follow Kakashi, right?" he reasoned. "I guess we can even get the blonde idiot to join—"

"NO!" Sakura shouted, her voice echoing off the walls. "I mean…no. I don't mind if it's just us two. We're more than enough to find Itachi. Let's do it!" She pumped a fist as she came to walk beside him.

Except, before either of them could go far, a voice cut loudly through the air. "Sasuke! Sakura! Hey, you're up too!"

Sasuke turned to glance over his shoulder at the one and only Naruto. Beside him, Sakura began to mutter her swears again with an all but visible ominous aura seeping off her. Oblivious in only the way Naruto can be, Naruto didn't notice Sakura's mood change, thrilled at the unexpected appearance of his friends. "Morning, guys! I had to go bring dad some breakfast since he stayed at the office last night. What are you two doing?"

"Finding Itachi," Sasuke said casually.

"You're not invited," Sakura declared.

Naruto had never been one to take no for an answer and he smiled off Sakura's rejection to accompany them. "Hey, Sasuke and I are taking the chuunin exams together and you're going to be doing the jonin exam. We might as well team up. Besides, this should be even more fun than tracking Kakashi-sensei!"

As they continued on their way (with Naruto falling into step beside them, much to Sakura's annoyance), Sasuke asked, "And just why would it be more fun? It's the same thing, either way."

The blonde tilted his head in an easy smile. "Because, it's your brother. You don't ever tell us much about yourself so it'll be interesting to see how you react when it comes to him."

Sasuke took advantage of his large collar to hide the blush creeping on his face. "Leave it to you to say something so stupid," he muttered.

However, just ahead, Itachi crossed the road and entered into a store. Getting their game faces on, they stealthily ran up, noticing it was a rather large department store that was more on the higher-end of cost. Their family certainly wasn't poor but they rarely went anywhere like this. Why would Itachi come here? "Come on, let's go inside," Sasuke whispered and the other two nodded.

As the entrance of the store was spacious with nowhere to hide, Sasuke immediately hit a sharp left to a kiosk selling masks. He purchased one with the face of a hawk for himself, another with the face of a frog for Naruto, and a black and blue one that spread out into a butterfly for Sakura. "With these, our official name is now…The Kage (shadow). And the Kage has but one mission—"

"Looking after their village?" Naruto supplied, his face turned rather ridiculous by the mask.

"To find out what secret Itachi Uchiha is hiding!" Sasuke whispered fiercely. "C'mon, he's going up the escalator. We'll hide behind that family also going up and keep a safe distance."

He crouched down and slunk off towards the escalators with the kiosk owner shaking his head sadly as they left. "Somethin' ain't right about this new batch of shinobi," he sighed.

On the escalator, they wedged themselves into a large family with four children, all of them bickering and fighting with each other. Sasuke kept his eyes on Itachi, who was just reaching the top, but then he was nudged hard from behind. He looked back and saw that one of the kids was grinning at him, one of her front teeth missing. "Hey mister! What's with the funny mask?"

"Mind your own business, child," Sasuke muttered, turning back around. He was instantly nudged again and he cast a cold look over his shoulder.

"I want that mask!" The little girl cried. The other children noticed the older teens around them at the same time and collectively gasped.

"STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!" The other three began to scream, jostling to get closer to their parents.

Without hesitation, Sasuke activated his Sharingan, quickly capturing the entire family within it. He decided to be generous though, and painted a world filled with bright skies and pink grass…and rainbows and unicorns and whatever the hell else little kids like. He set a timer for it to expire in five minutes and quickly beckoned Sakura and Naruto to follow him as they hopped over the other shoppers, running to duck into another store.

"Damn little kids nearly blew our cover," he said, peeking from around the corner to watch as the family stumbled off the escalator like zombies. Just then he flinched, putting a hand to his eyes.

"You gonna be alright?" Naruto asked, looking like he wanted to console him and bolt at the same time.

"Yeah…I'm fine. I strained my Sharingan too much yesterday with training." He removed his hand, blinking to adjust to the lower light of the store. "I just won't be able to use it too much right now."

Sakura nodded at him. "Happy then that you're alright, but can we get out of here? You dragged us into Victoria's Secret and people are starting to stare."

Indeed, they were being stared at, and Sasuke could only imagine the way they looked with their masks on. He was about to leave the store when he heard Naruto say loudly, "This looks like it'd fit you, right Sakura?"

Sakura stared in mortification at the sheer pink and white negligee held up before her. With a face as red as her top, her hand moved before she could tell it not to. With perhaps the most force that she'd ever used, she slapped Naruto from one side of the store completely to the other. His tumbling body took out every clothes stand along the way and by the time he came to a stop splattered against the opposite wall, hardly anything was left standing.

Every fiber in Sasuke's body said to run and leave the stupid idiot behind, but someone's voice (Kakashi's? Itachi's? Minato's?) echoed to him about teamwork and the chuunin exams and blah blah blah…and he realized he couldn't just abandon Naruto. However, before he could do anything, the massive pile of clothes gave a tremble before bursting apart with several dozen clones of Naruto.

Several broke into a run for the front of the store but a few remained behind, holding up various items. "I'm surrounded by panties! My life is complete!" One of the clones shouted, tossing a handful of them into the air.

"Hey, this bra is big enough for even Granny Tsunade!" Another said gleefully, stretching an expanse of lacey material.

"…I kinda wanna try one of these on," Said one clone, bashfully holding up a blue thong.

Sasuke tuned the rest of them out, forming a clone at the same time Sakura did. Outside the store, he made a left and noticed she did as well with Naruto (whom he assumed was the real one) following after. The clones ran in the opposite direction though no one chased after them; likely the store staff was still trying to process what had just happened.

Reaching a food court on the third floor, they gasped as they fell into a seat, ripping their masks off. Why sell masks in a mall anyways if they were still going to be stared at for wearing them? The worst part though was that they'd now once again lost sight of Itachi. All of this…for nothing. For some reason, Sasuke found it rather funny and began to giggle.

Naruto and Sakura looked at him before meeting each other's eyes. Sasuke didn't giggle, unless it was at their expense. "Hey…Sasuke?" Sakura asked, tapping him on the shoulder.

Giving a contented sigh, Sasuke stopped. "I'm fine. Honestly though, we've been full-fledged shinobi for nearly four years and here we are, drawing more attention than a circus. It's rather ironic, is all. Anyways, I'm starving. Let's eat and then we'll continue our mission."

Relieved that he hadn't completely cracked up, the other two followed him, enjoying the rare moment of Team 7 being together again.

* * *

Excuse the delay; this chapter went through several iterations before I finally settled on an idea. Inspired by the anime episode number 469 where Kakashi finally reveals his face ( _sigh_ …indeed he was right, it takes away so much mystique), I realized that due to Sasuke's absence, there will never be an episode of him as an older teen working together with Naruto and Sakura for a comical mission. Very unfortunate as I'd love to see that version of him with some of the funny moments of the filler episodes as it's in those moments that we get the rare sight of Sasuke being a bit silly. So, this chapter(s) pays homage to that :)


	7. Chasing Tails

**Chasing Tails**

After the Victoria's Secret fiasco, the hunt for Itachi within the mall was a bust. As they walked out, Sasuke let out a heavy breath of disappointment. "Sorry about that, guys. I understand if you don't want to help me anymore, I don't mean to just drag you around…"

Both his teammates instantly shook their heads. "I have nothing better to do, so I'm still game," Sakura put in eagerly.

Naruto gave a thumbs-up and nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, we're not giving up that easily!"

And on the inside, Sasuke smirked as he knew they'd both stick with him as both basked in his presence. But that meant that they needed to ramp it up to the next level if they had any hopes of catching Itachi. "Alright, we're going to need to gather some information on our target. Itachi keeps to himself but people know him so maybe we can piece together a pattern of behavior by asking around. This will be the new mission of…The Inu. Let's go!"

At the mention of a new name, Sakura and Naruto traded looks but remained silent, indeed happy to simply have Sasuke at their side. They inquired about his brother at several stores, each owner claiming they'd seen Itachi head this way or that. After being sent in a new direction for the seventh time, Sasuke had to wonder if any of their claims were true. This final time proved to be the least helpful so far as the owner stated they hadn't seen Itachi at all.

"He's toying with us," Sasuke declared, a hand under his chin as he took a seat on a bench outside. "He's somewhere in the shadows probably and is just getting his kicks at seeing us wander in circles. That bastard!" he punched beside him, nearly splitting the wood. "We'll rest for a moment but afterwards, we might need to split up to cover a wider area. For that, I'm hereby renaming us to…The Eagles!"

"I think a band has already claimed that," Sakura told him and she was too slow to stop the creeping note of annoyance in her voice. "We don't need a name anyways, we already have one: Team 7."

"Not good enough!" Sasuke declared, throwing out his hand with great exaggeration. "Itachi is a crafty foe who deserves a tracking team of an equally crafty name. I've got it! Foxtrot. That's our name!"

"Don't you think you're getting just a little…obsessed?" Naruto asked him, casting a worried stare. "I thought this was just to pass the time."

"Oh, it is," Sasuke assured them, but only to placate their increasing looks of concern, as though fearing he was becoming unhinged. "But while passing the time, I figured I'd indulge. Aren't you both always telling me I don't know how to have fun? Excuse me for trying to prove otherwise," he sniffed.

He was right and Naruto and Sakura knew it. They each sat in silence as they mulled over their thoughts on their next move.

A set of footsteps that'd been walking close by stopped and Sasuke looked up to find a pair of dark, wide eyes boring down at them. All three ninja flinched back instantly with Naruto screaming, "Captain Yamato! Your face needs a 'viewer discretion is advised' warning; you can't just walk up on people like that!"

"Thank you, Naruto, for those heartfelt words," Yamato replied with a smile, used to Naruto's comments about his unsettling eyes. It was why he had so much fun scaring him with them. "Hey, all three of you are together! What's the occasion? You three are probably the only ones from the Academy that are always split up."

"We're on a mission to find my brother," Sasuke revealed, but then blinked and did a double-take at Yamato. "Wait, you were in the ANBU with him as well, weren't you? Did Itachi ever go off by himself or mention anything about places he liked?"

Yamato thought for a moment before answering. "I saw him sometimes speaking with Danzo, but I certainly wouldn't consider that a place he liked visiting. Even I don't like being there…" he muttered under his breath. "Oh, but there is one thing! I think Shisui mentioned something recently about him having a girlfriend."

"A GIRLFRIEND?!" All three shinobi screamed.

The leader rubbed a finger in his ear at their loud voices, taking a step back. "Well, he's in his twenties, that shouldn't be such a surprise. Why not go ask Shisui? I just saw him heading through the entrance gate for the Uchiha quarters."

Sasuke bolted without another word but he nearly tripped and fell when he heard Naruto call out, "Thanks, Captain Cameltoe!"

" _What_ did you call me?!" Yamato yelled after him but Naruto didn't dare respond. Admittedly, Sasuke wished he'd thought of the joke first.

At the entrance gate, the Uchiha instantly ran through the doors but paused when he noticed that Sakura and Naruto weren't following. "You do know that non-Uchiha are free to come in too, right?" he frowned at them, expecting that to be common knowledge.

Clearly it wasn't. "I dunno," Naruto shrugged, scratching his head. "I mean, I've never seen a non-Uchiha come in here. Are you sure it's okay?"

Sasuke was going to fire off an insult until he paused and thought about it. If he were being honest, it was rare that outsiders dared to come in. "Well…you're with me, so it should be alright," was the best consolation he could offer. As they followed him though, he wasn't ignorant to the stares he received from his clansmen and was starting to regret bringing them with him until his home came into view.

Running into the house, he left the door open for his teammates while kicking off his shoes. He dashed past the kitchen before braking and backing up a few steps. "Mom! Have you seen Itachi?" he asked his mother, who stood inside the open door of the freezer with no intention to take anything out. Sasuke knew it was due to her hotflashes and wisely did not make a comment on it.

"If Itachi came home, I've not heard or seen him," she replied without looking away. "But you know how your brother is; he's practically a ghost. Go ask your father," she waved him away, sticking her head further inside the freezer.

At the thought of doing that though, Sasuke paled and cast a discreet glance behind him to his friends. He'd never brought guests home and he wasn't sure how his strict father would react, especially with one of those guests being the son of the Hokage. His father was usually in his personal office downstairs but Sasuke opted to creep upstairs first.

Opening his room door, he ushered the other two inside. "Stay here and be quiet. I'm going to go speak with my father, but I don't think it's best he know that you two are here," Sasuke informed them.

"See! Told you nobody but Uchiha ever come here!" Naruto accused loudly, pointing a finger at Sasuke. "What the heck is the big deal with that anyways? You guys go to school with the rest of us, but how come nobody is allowed here?"

The answer to that was much too long and complicated and Sasuke didn't feel like explaining that. "Crack open a history book some time, rock-brain," Sasuke tossed at him, knowing it was a stupid insult but not willing to delve further into the matter. Before either of them could say anything more, he slipped out the room and went back downstairs.

At the door to his father's office, which opened up to the outside walkway, he knelt down and took a deep breath. Happy memories did not happen inside this room. "Excuse me!" he called out respectfully and heard his father grunt in reply. How Fugaku to not answer with words. He slid the door open and quickly entered.

Inside, he knelt down once again. "Have you seen Itachi?" he blurted quickly, hoping to get an answer and dash out as soon as possible. Instead, Fugaku put down the pen he'd been using and looking up from his spot in front of the table.

"I don't get a 'good morning, Father'?" he growled, sitting back. "Itachi would have greeted me properly."

 _Of course he would've, my brother is a kiss-ass to you!_ "Good morning, Father. And how are you today?"

"Don't push it," the man advised at that last part. "Where were you this morning? You didn't tell anyone where you were going."

 _I'm old enough to take another human's life but Kami forbid if I leave the house without telling someone!_ "Looking for Itachi," Sasuke said honestly. "Have you seen him?" _Just answer the question so I can go…_

"Why do you need to speak with Itachi so badly? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get away from me right now," Fukagu observed, leaning forward as he crossed his arms into the sleeves of his kimono. "I've not seen your brother, but have you tried speaking with Shisui?"

"I wouldn't talk to him if he were the last person on Earth!" Sasuke yelled and instantly slapped a hand over his mouth. "I mean, well…okay, yeah, that's exactly what I meant," he faltered, realizing he had nothing to cover for his outburst.

Fugaku didn't look fazed by his comment, having heard similar ones from his youngest, to which he gave his usual reply of, "It would actually benefit you to have someone like Shisui to look up to. Just look at how Itachi turned out due to his tutelage."

Thinking about Itachi's muted personality made Sasuke shudder. "I'll pass. If you've not seen Itachi then I'll keep searching. Um…thank you for your time," he bowed awkwardly and rose off his knees, hurrying to leave the room.

That is, until the door slid open and in walked Naruto. "Hey Sasuke, where's the bathroom? This place is huge! Oh, you must be Sasuke's dad!" Naruto paused, looking at the man who didn't change his eternal frown when he saw the blonde. Oblivious to it, Naruto continued, "Wow, Sasuke looks a lot like you! Hi, I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" and he walked forward with his hand out.

"CHIDORI!" Sasuke instantly screamed and slammed the sphere into Naruto's stomach. The attack knocked Naruto back out of the room and over the edge of the veranda where he promptly fell into the pond and out of sight.

"Sorry about that, I'll explain everything later!" Sasuke gave an embarrassed bow and slammed the door shut as he ran out of the room. Hopping off the porch and keeping his feet on a path of stepping stones, he leaned over and dragged Naruto's confused carcass out of the water.

"What did I do _this_ time?!" Naruto grumbled, rubbing his stomach as Sasuke quickly dragged him back down the walkway. Instead of answering, Sasuke disappeared inside once they reached the door and promptly came back with a couple of towels.

"I told you to stay put, can't you do anything I tell you?" Sasuke muttered and he helped to dry off his head, rubbing his hair roughly with the towel. "Look, things are kinda shaky with the Uchiha and the rest of the village and your dad being Hokage doesn't help things."

"What's wrong with my dad?!" Naruto asked sharply, stopping Sasuke's hands.

Sasuke sighed, still not feeling like going into the details. "Nothing, alright? It's…complicated."

"This looks pretty straight-forward to me," a new voice said with a snicker, a voice that made Sasuke's blood start to boil.

Looking over his shoulder, he saw Shisui coming their way. Next to him was Itachi and while the former held a bemused expression, the latter only managed a half-smile.

"Did I catch you two in a _private_ moment?" Shisui continued to prod, his eyes shining mischievously upon the scene with Sasuke still in the midst of drying Naruto's hair. "Itachi, maybe we should give these two some alone time!"

Sasuke remembered back to a time where Shisui actually treated him respectfully but years of resentment towards the older Uchiha for monopolizing Itachi had whittled him down to these crass remarks. That was fine, Sasuke could dish 'em back out just as much as he could take them. "I could say the same thing about you and my brother. I heard from Yamato that Itachi had a new girlfriend; could that be you?"

As Shisui spluttered to think of a good comeback, Itachi sighed and gave a chastising stare to both of them. "Honestly, I'm gone for a few hours and immediately the rumors fly. If you must know, I was at the shrine. Obon is coming up and I'm on the planning committee."

…That…explained a lot. If Itachi was part of the festival setup, then it'd also make sense that he would be at the mall to buy things. It'd also make sense as to why so many people had seen him all over since this was one of the few festivals shared with the entire village and not just the clan. Sasuke had truthfully been hoping to discover something new and exciting about his brother and he didn't make his disappointment a secret. He even felt Naruto deflate next to him.

Curiosity at the raised voices caused Sakura to open the door that would lead back inside but her face showed that she'd heard everything. She gave a sympathetic look to both her teammates. "So I guess this was all just a waste," she sighed.

"Massively," Sasuke confirmed and together, all three let out a heavy breath.

The young shinobi headed back inside and the instant they were gone, the two remaining Uchiha vanished into smoke and disappeared. Both had been cast by Itachi, knowing his sibling would be looking for him. But currently, Itachi was not in Konoha…

~.~.~

"Sure this looks okay?" Itachi asked worriedly, looking down.

Deidara rolled his eyes, cleaning up the room. "It's just a little nail polish, nobody's going to say anything, hm. I do it for the rest of the Akatsuki and I've not had anyone complain to me yet."

Itachi thought about that and realized that indeed, over half their members did have their nails colored. "You must be making a fortune off of us alone," he huffed, handing over a few bills that he'd taken out ahead of time to avoid smearing the paint job.

"I am and don't any of you dare start going somewhere else, hm," Deidara threatened, licking a finger and counting the money. Once he was assured it was all there, he stuffed it away in a back pocket. "The old fart Onoki told me my usual art is a "disgrace". This is the only release for my creativity that I have left. By the way, I do makeup too."

"Ahh haha, I'll take a rain check on that one," Itachi smiled weakly.

Deidara looked as if he honestly didn't care, giving a shrug at the rejection. "Cool, now make yourself scarce before strawberry nose comes back. You know how he feels about Leaf ninja," he grimaced.

Itachi did just that, vanishing to return to his other clones that had dutifully run his errands for the day.


	8. Publicity Stunt

This is probably one of my more off the wall chapters but that's also why it's shorter :)

* * *

 **Publicity Stunt**

Over the next few weeks, life fell into a predictable pattern for Sasuke which consisted primarily of training for the exams, going on light missions due to being so low-ranking, and more training. By the end of the third week, his boredom had hit its peak and so, in a moment of impulsive shopping, he decided to purchase a camera with dreams of making it big online.

"Ugh, not you too!" Itachi rolled his eyes when he saw Sasuke assembling the camera in the living room. "It's bad enough I have to deal with Shisui doing…what do they call them? Selfies? He even has one of those stupid sticks that you attach your phone to. I refuse for my younger brother to become one of _those_ people," Itachi shuddered.

"If this is where the story starts to dish out commentary on youth and social media, please save it," Sasuke instantly informed him, clicking a memory card into place. "If I wanted to hear that, I'd go talk to mom or dad." Finished with the camera, he turned it on and pointed it at himself. "Testing, testing, one two," he said, waving at the lens, then turned around to film Itachi.

"I want you to know that as a ninja, you're completely blowing your entire cover and risking the security of the village," his older brother said, but Sasuke didn't miss when he took a curious step forward. "Put this stuff up online and you're pretty much asking for our enemies to come to our front door. If a random civilian can call the ANBU on someone during a videogame livestream, it'd be nothing for a skilled ninja to use background clues in a video to take someone down personally."

Sasuke wanted to argue his case, but as he looked at Itachi in the viewfinder, he realized he was right. There was a reason why the Hokage had gone on high alert as the new technology became available. There'd already been a terrible incident in another village of a shinobi taking what they thought was an innocent picture but ultimately lead to their mission being a complete failure when their targets instantly recognized just how close to their territory they were.

"I'll only use it here in Konoha," he mumbled, pointing the camera to capture the koi pond beside the house. "And I'll edit anything that might be dangerous to the village. Mainly it'll just be stupid vlogs so nothing too major," he shrugged.

Itachi sighed and shook his head. "Those are actually the most dangerous kind. But…I'll give you a chance with this. You have to let me view your final edits though. I'm in the ANBU; it's even more detrimental to my job than yours if anything about me is revealed. Same goes for dad and the police force as well."

"…So, pretty much, film no one but myself?" Sasuke asked dryly. "What if I want to do a collab?"

The more Itachi talked with his brother about this, the more apprehensive he began to feel. Everything in him told him to force Sasuke to take the camera back but Sasuke wasn't a little kid anymore and it was getting harder to tell him what to do. Finally, he hit upon an idea. "How about this: collaborate with me. I'll be your vlogging partner. It'll be a sibling thing…kinda like those two guys who are really smart and write books and stuff."

"…Except they make videos _for_ each other, not with each other," Sasuke pointed out. Still, if this was what it was going to take to get Itachi to sign off on his amateur cinematography, then he'd allow it. "I accept your proposal but I'm the one in charge mainly with the channel, got it?"

Itachi waved him off, turning to leave the room. "Fine by me, less work I have to do."

That's what Itachi said. Except it didn't take long for him to become addicted to the spotlight.

~.~.~

"Hi guys, so today I'm doing an unboxing video sponsored by Sellout Box! This month's theme is Lost Pride!" Itachi babbled as he held up a container roughly the size of a shoebox. "Don't forget, use the promo code 'no shame' to get 15% off your next purchase!"

This video, just like the seven before it, featured Itachi and only Itachi. Sasuke could only watch on in disbelief as his brother encroached on what was supposed to be his.

"You know, our channel name of "SuperUchihaBrothers" doesn't work when there's only one brother," Sasuke grumbled to him a few days later, watching as Itachi set up a few high-end lights he'd purchased for his bedroom. They were positioned a few feet away from a taped X on the floor where the new camera tripod stood. "I thought this was supposed to mainly be _my_ channel. I'm the executive producer, not you!"

"Yeah, but have you read the comments? They love me!" Itachi shot back at him. Going over to his computer, he pulled up the comment section of his newest video. "Itachifan28 says 'Itachi is so hot, he can fan me with his flames any day!' KunoichiGurl stated, 'Itachi is the perfect blend of cool and sexy, my kind of guy.' And this one says, 'I think the younger brother is cuter, but there's an unmistakable charm about the older brother that's hard to resist', written by…Sakura Haruno. Oh wait…"

Even though Sasuke swore he had no feelings for Sakura, he couldn't help wincing as a stab of betrayal coursed through him. She was supposed to fawn over him so he could ignore her, not throw herself at his older brother! "From now on, every video _must_ contain us both. Otherwise, get your own channel!" He snapped, turning around and slamming the door as he went. He heard something fall over and hoped it was one of the expensive lights.

The next morning, Sasuke had his camera returned to him, Itachi announcing that he'd gotten one for himself. Sasuke stared up at the contraption strapped to his head and blinked. "I'm not sure I want to know…"

"It's a GoPro! The comments recommended it to me. Your camera doesn't keep up well if I'm filming myself training or running so this'll work much better," Itachi told him with no shortage of superior undertones.

"You look like a tool," Sasuke snickered.

Unfazed, Itachi shrugged him off. "We'll see. And yes, you'll be in this video too since you're so jealous about me getting so much attention." He strutted from the room, but Sasuke could only stifle a laugh at the ridiculous camera on his head.

At least that was before he saw the footage Itachi had shot. It was crisp and clean, devoid of all the shakiness of his own videos. The audio had been nearly professionally cleaned up, though most of the original audio was removed in favor of a royalty-free song playing in the background which set the mood as Itachi showed off his varying chakra elements.

Sasuke watched it the first time with seething jealousy until he realized, "You forgot to add me still! I'm not in the video at all!"

"Yes you are! Look!" Itachi nudged Sasuke aside from the computer screen and backed the video up until he reached a point near the ending. "See, there you are! I caught your reflection off of my sunglasses as we walked back home."

Oh, that was it. "That doesn't even count and you know it! You can't just toss a reflection of me in the video and count that as featuring me like this is fucking Where's Waldo! That's it! You and I…are breaking up."

"That's fine, but you have to create your own channel," Itachi sniffed petulantly, staring at the upload screen as he thought of a cool video name. "I'm the reason this channel has so many subscribers in the first place."

Sasuke would've loved to have skipped past using ninjutsu and genjutsu at that moment and thrown a classic haymaker at him, but he resisted, if not barely. "It was my idea initially so those subscribers are mine!" Besides…the channel was getting a wonderful downpour of ad revenue. If the sponsors kept up, he wouldn't even need to work as a shinobi anymore!

"I got the famous gamer PrettyPie to subscribe so no way am I going to go start all over again," Itachi finally swiveled around to confront him, giving up on a video name. "This channel was a _joke_ before I upped the quality. You'd be _nothing_ without me!"

"Oh really?" Sasuke challenged, standing up. '

"Yeah, really!" Itachi countered, also standing.

"Let's take this outside!"

"No problem, I'll film me kicking your ass on my GoPro!"

"Ugh, _tool!_ " Sasuke gagged.

Suddenly, Itachi's bedroom door was thrown open and their mother bustled in. Her face radiated excitement as she carried her cellphone in her hand. Holding it out to them to view the screen, she all but squealed, "Look, Pokémon Go finally came to Konoha! Oh, there's a Pidgey on your bed, Itachi! Is that a good one? Does that one become strong?" She asked, clearly not caring much for the answer as she swiped her finger on the screen anyways to catch the Pokémon.

At this news, both Sasuke and Itachi shuddered. They'd already witnessed the craze as it swept from one Great Nation to another and neither had any desire to join the fad. Each instantly dropped their previous fight and slunk out of the room as their mother began to go on about her future goals of siding with Team Mystic because 'everyone else is joining them'.

A week later, the video channel was dissolved entirely at the behest of Minato.

* * *

Honestly, I don't think I would be a fan of Itachi and Sasuke's if they did have a YouTube channel; their comment section would ruin it for me :)


	9. History Maker

**History Maker**

"Sasuke, aren't you ready yet?" Itachi screamed from the bottom of the stairs. "You've kept us waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The bedroom for his younger brother remained shut and silent with no reply or explanation for his unusually tardy behavior. Fugaku looked to his eldest and shook his head. "Go make sure Sasuke hasn't keeled over or something. Your brother was supposed to be there a half hour ago for rehearsals. He's going to make the entire clan look bad."

Itachi dutifully ascended the stairs to do as his father said, cursing Sasuke to the Land of Waves and back for dragging his feet. His brother was impatient at everyone else's slowness any other time but suddenly had no qualms about wasting the time of his family? He wasn't about to let his brother get away with this. As he reached his bedroom, he opened the door, flinging it wide open.

"Ever heard of knocking?!" Sasuke screamed, standing in a yukata with the obi not wrapped around his waist but instead entangled around his head. "I could've been naked in here!"

"I've seen you nude and you're nothing special," Itachi gruffly informed him, to which Sasuke's ears turned red. His eyes assessed his brother's appearance and his previous aggravation dissolved into amusement. "Your yukata is for after the performance anyways; what are you doing?"

Caught, Sasuke looked away bashfully and mumbled, "I'm not going up there. Why the hell did you nominate me to play the lead role for the clan?" And then with unmistakable jealousy: "Why not nominate your darling Shisui?"

Itachi picked up the clothes that Sasuke was supposed to be wearing, a full ensemble of a men's kimono. "Shisui is too old and I am too. We're also providing your music. Look, your performance is five minutes, tops. After this year, you'll be too old to do it ever again as well. Just get it done and over with and, I don't know…I'll treat you to something afterwards."

He saw the light fire up in Sasuke's eyes, an excitement that made his heart skip a beat that his endearing baby brother, no matter how old, was always just beyond that cool exterior. "You promise? It can't be something like a bag of goldfish from that kiddie game either!"

Itachi distinctly remembered that Sasuke used to love catching the goldfish at festivals. But the fish never had a long life expectancy and so as each one had died, he or his parents had always quickly removed the body from the bowl. Instead, they told a young Sasuke that the fish, when ready, would fly away into the sky, which resembled a massive pond. To keep him from watching the fish bowl endlessly, they said they only flew away when nobody was looking.

The story worked fine until Sasuke stumbled upon the bowl when not one but two fish had died and were floating in the water. Being as sharp as he was, it took seconds for him to realize his family had always lied to him about his beloved fish each year. Itachi bit his lip as he realized his family had a terrible track record when it came to pets and mentally scarring Sasuke…

Out loud to his brother he said, "Of course I wouldn't do that; now, get dressed. You already missed the timeframe for your dress rehearsal."

Ten minutes later, Sasuke was dressed and Itachi was carrying his second change of clothes in a bag. Just as Sasuke was about to descend the stairs, Itachi grabbed his arm to halt him. "Wait, your hair is sticking up all over the place. One sec…" He gave his hand a massive lick and then smacked it on Sasuke's bangs, which had gotten rather long during the summer. "Good to go!"

"Words cannot describe how disgusting that is," Sasuke trembled with revulsion.

Instead of answering him, Itachi spun him around and gently nudged him to continue walking. At the bottom of the stairs, Fugaku looked Sasuke over but as he said nothing, he took it to mean his appearance was up to snuff. Mikoto gave her youngest a quick hug and whispered, "You look handsome! I'm so proud of you! You go out there and break a leg!"

Sasuke had never liked that phrase.

They made haste and arrived late—but Itachi would say fashionably late. He hated to brag but…his family looked _good_ , even after discreetly running across the roofs to reach the festival stage before the production started. Not a wrinkle or a hair out of place—including Sasuke's thickening fringe. The stage was outside, so after a few last words of encouragement, their mother and father went to sit in the crowd while Sasuke and Itachi continued on backstage.

Even after seeing it multiple times, Sasuke still wasn't used to the chaos that went on behind the scenes as everyone got ready. For the festival, each clan in Konoha put on a small show, which in theory seemed like a great idea. Only thing was, it had become something of a competition over the years with which clan could out-do the others. By now though, even that had somehow evolved with the current goal being to beat the Uchiha.

As they walked to the location where they would make an entrance, Sasuke saw that many of his academy classmates and others he knew were also there. Hinata and Neji were a given; the two had appeared on stage since they were children. He saw the Third's grandson, Konohamaru also there, being fussed at by his tutor, Ebisu. Rock Lee had traded his horrible green outfit for a regular kimono of the same shade, thus by default making it too a horrible item. Sasuke wasn't surprised to hear him muttering something about 'springtime of youth' to himself…even if it was nearly fall.

Near the left wing was a small group of others from his clan, which inevitably included Shisui. He and Itachi high-fived before Shisui whispered to him, "You're not _nervous_ , are you?"

Sasuke would never give him the satisfaction of knowing that, yes, he very much was. "Nervousness is for the weak," he said with all the bravado he dared. He turned his head away and watched the ending performance of the ones that were currently on stage.

Tenten and her family were giving a flashy presentation of their weapons, swinging chained scythes, nun chucks and various other tools in complete synchronization mixed with an aggressive martial arts combination. Once finished, the crowd beyond gave a deafening cheer and the group bowed politely before making their way backstage. Sasuke stepped aside for them and Tenten, catching his eye, mouthed "Break a leg!" as she strolled past.

Sasuke _really_ hated that phrase.

The rest of the clan members made their way onto the stage first to another deafening roar of praise (or that might have been because the Uchiha were one of the largest clans and everyone had turned up for the show, out-screaming anyone else). They knelt on the opposite end of the stage holding various instruments with Shisui taking a spot that was further back and out of the way so as to have space for the massive taiko drum. Itachi was amongst the flute players, an instrument he'd grudgingly come to enjoy over the years after his parents adamantly refused to let him study drums; neither of his parents wanted to deal with the racket as he practiced.

The lights went low and the crowd fell silent. The opening notes on a shamisen rang out, which Itachi knew was the signal for Sasuke to make his debut. His little brother could bluff all he wanted, but he knew his brother was on pins and needles about this performance. He wouldn't have delayed their arrival if he was fully at ease. Still, he had faith that his brother would be fine as he wasn't one to crumble under pressure.

From the opposite wing, Sasuke began a slow shuffle onto the stage, hands clasped and eyes closed. Wait, was it supposed to be a shuffle? Shouldn't he glide? He wanted to look down at his socked feet but if he did so, it'd be obvious in the lighting. Even though his eyes were currently closed, he knew that by now, a spotlight had been shone on him and was following his progress. With only the grain of the floorboards to guide him, he managed to make it to the center of the stage without tripping. From there, he knelt and bowed with his forehead nearly touching the ground. The position masked his face which was perfect for when he heard his mother scream out, "That's my baby!" which was heard loud and clear even above the applause that welcomed his appearance.

Once silence descended again, the second half of the song began. At the sound of Shisui's beating drum and an accompanied twitter on the wooden flutes, he lifted his head and rose to a knee. From his side, he withdrew a prop sword, continuing to rise to his feet as he gave it a decisive swing. The dance mimicked a battle, though Sasuke would be damned if he could remember the story behind it. The conclusion though was that the character opted to kill themselves instead of dying at the hand of their foe. At the appropriate time, Sasuke rammed the sword into his left side, which was turned away from the audience so that they wouldn't notice that it didn't really go into him.

Except it did. Truthfully, he wasn't even surprised; what a fitting way to top off the day, to have forgotten to swap his own real blade out with the fake. _It's totally cool, I'll be alright_ , he reasoned, sinking down to his knees again, the final part of the act. _Although…hey, that looks like a lot of blood. I mean…_ a lot _. And I'm kinda starting to go numb. But it's completely fine! I'll slap a bandage on it and_ —

Sasuke collapsed on the stage with an ever-growing pool of blood surrounding him. Pandemonium broke out with half the Uchiha rushing the stage to ensure he was alright. It was Itachi though who got to him first, scooping him up into his arms and throwing a smoke bomb to halt the stampede.

As he fled for the hospital, he looked down at Sasuke, who'd passed out at this point. "The Uchiha have been performing that dance for over three centuries and never has there been an incident," Itachi let out an exasperated breath. "Leave it to you to be the first. Your name shall go down in infamy, little brother."

Thankfully for Sasuke though, the Uchiha would conveniently forget to document what happened that day in any historical record. It was actually possible that several other incidents had never been noted either but if anyone knew anything about it…they weren't talking. The perceived image of the Uchiha came first and so Sasuke's embarrassing flub would in time be forgotten.

But not without a copious amount of ribbing from Itachi first. It was his sworn older-brotherly duty to do so, which he took _very_ seriously.


	10. Retrospective

Wow, I didn't mean to go so long without updating this story, but I'm committed to finishing it. This will be the final chapter but I hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

 **Retrospective**

It took two hours for all of Konoha's doctors and medical nin to put Sasuke back together again. Afterwards, he walked a walk of shame to apologize to his family and clan for his slip-up, retiring home for the night soon after.

He was woken up much earlier than he cared for the next morning by a knock on his bedroom door and a voice calling out, "I have a summons for one Sasuke Uchiha! Please report to your front door immediately!"

"Screw you, Itachi; I think I've earned the right to sleep in," he called back, burrowing deeper under his blanket.

Itachi threw open the door without permission but still, Sasuke didn't stir. "Mom and dad are gone again for the day so come hang out with me," Itachi informed him.

There was a brief rustle of the covers before it jerked to a stop and Itachi smiled to himself; Sasuke just fought back an impulse. Contradicting his gesture, Sasuke told him, "Go have fun without me. I'm going to Netflix and chill by myself today."

Lounging around to watch TV went against everything Itachi knew about his brother. Instead, he sat gently on the side of the bed, then laid down close to where he knew Sasuke's face was at. "Sasuke. Get up. If you don't, I'm going to do something you won't like."

In preparation, Sasuke shuffled to where all the edges of the blanket were now pinned under him. "So long as you don't challenge me to a stupid eating contest again, I don't care."

"Okay, it's your demise," Itachi shrugged. He grabbed the covers and grinned fully when he saw Sasuke stiffen. Then, with as much force as possible, he ripped the blanket off, exposing Sasuke curled up on his side in his plaid pajamas. He easily tracked the kunai Sasuke withdrew from under his pillow and knocked it out his grasp before he could even throw it.

Using one hand, he pinned both of Sasuke's arms above him and used the second to lift his shirt. He almost stopped when Sasuke screamed "No, not incestuous hentai!" but continued anyways. With Sasuke unable to move, he lowered his mouth to his bellybutton and blew.

To his honest surprise, Sasuke actually laughed. In fact, this wasn't just a laugh; Sasuke was _giggling_. Sasuke continued to kick and scream, begging Itachi to stop as he tried to get away and while uttering death threats but the fact of the matter remained that Itachi managed to get his brother to giggle. After several minutes, he finally pulled back and gave a flushed and prideful smile back. "Should've just done what I asked."

"Haha…ha…I really hate you, you know," Sasuke said with no conviction, his face still grinning. Sitting up, he wiped his stomach off and pulled his shirt down, then attempted to flatten his bedhead. "What the hell gave you the idea to do that anyways, of all things?" he asked, once he was as presentable as he was going to get for the moment.

Itachi shrugged, turning away in embarrassment. "You used to love that when you were a kid. And based on that reaction, I'd say you don't mind it even now," he teased, despite himself. He patted Sasuke on the head, standing up. "I go back to school next week so this will be my final weekend before things become chaotic for me again. We have this entire weekend; let's end it with a bang."

With resistance now proven to be futile, Sasuke followed him out the door, noticing that Itachi too hadn't bothered with getting fully dressed. Downstairs, Sasuke offered to be the one to make breakfast this time. However…the results were up for debate.

"Sasuke, you really amaze me sometimes. Scrambled pancakes? This is definitely a first," Itachi murmured with amusement, forking a piece and giving a chew. "The taste isn't affected though so I guess it's alright."

Sasuke stared at his own plate of scrambled pancakes, scrambled over-easy eggs and scrambled toast and sighed, his shoulders falling. "The pancake fell apart when I tried to flip it—"

"Meaning you tried to turn it over before it'd fully cooked on that side," Itachi knowingly provided.

"—And the egg yolk didn't want to stay inside when I tried to pull the egg white over the top—"

"You should've made the over-easy egg with two eggs instead of one—"

"—And the toaster decided on trying to keep the toast so I had to use a knife to pry it out," Sasuke finished explaining, by now staring at his plate with flushed frustration.

"…It wasn't still plugged in, was it?" Itachi asked, pausing.

"Aw, crap, yeah…I had used a plastic knife though. I'm sorry," Sasuke lowered his head further, placing his face in his folded arms on the table.

Continuing his meal, Itachi shook his head at him. "I swear you have a death wish. Either that, or you're a masochist. Either way, please don't die on my watch. Mom and dad would then kill me and then I'd have to haunt you forever in the afterlife. But your scrambled breakfast is still delicious and the real focus is your intention instead of the result. So, thank you, Sasuke." He toasted him with his glass of orange juice and Sasuke smiled reluctantly, clinking his glass against his brother's.

Afterwards, they retired to the living room where Itachi challenged Sasuke to a few rounds of playing a fighting video game. Sasuke would've taken his loses graciously except Itachi would finish with a special move every single time. Even this would've been tolerable were it not for how infuriatingly _casual_ Itachi was at playing it off.

After the tenth time he lost, Itachi yet again turned to him with that same seemingly sympathetic smile and said, "It's okay, you'll get me next time."

However, Sasuke was close to chucking the controller against the wall. "What time did you even have to practice this?! I thought you were _soooo_ busy?!" He criticized.

Itachi shrugged lightly, again picking his same character on the character select screen. "I told you about my…associates…in the Akatsuki, right? Well, one guy, Hidan, had Mortal Kombat and we'd play in his dorm room. We used to have competitions to see who could win the most with Fatalities and so…I kinda got good at it. I mean, we can play something else if you want—"

"No, don't! I won't get any better if I just quit," Sasuke grit his teeth. He buckled down and paid close attention to the unique moves of Itachi's characters and his own, studying each with the ferocity of training for an exam.

In the end, it still did him no good. The final record after three hours of playing was 108 to 0. "That's it, I've had enough! Just play by yourself!" Sasuke declared and stomped outside to go fume.

Itachi turned off the console and went to sit next to him on the outside walkway. He put an arm around his little brother and pulled him close. Sasuke had just released a resigned sigh before Itachi then whispered, "I'm sorry for being so good and that you suck."

Instantly, Sasuke hopped up and kicked Itachi in the back, causing his brother to fall over and place a hand over the location for his left kidney, all the while laughing. "Okay, okay, I'm only sorry! Hey, don't leave! We should do something else!"

"Go do something with Shisui!" He called back but winced the moment the words were out.

"You don't mean that," Itachi said and the laughter subsided. He stood up and caught up with Sasuke, standing in front of him to block his path by putting both hands on his shoulders and looking into his eyes. "Our lives are only going to get busier and busier from this point on. Even if I quit school, I still have my ANBU assignments and you're about to become a chuunin and I have no doubt that you'll then want to become a jonin. I don't want to look back with any regrets when it comes to you and me. I want to know that I've spent as much time with you as I could before that time comes when it'll be nearly impossible. So, no Shisui today. It's just me and you, the duo."

Sasuke shook away from Itachi's intense stare, doing what he could to hide his blush. "Friends are still important too, you know," he muttered halfway under his breath.

"They are, and you could take a lesson from that," Itachi ruffled his hair. Sasuke blushed all the more but didn't fight him off. "I'll see Shisui way more than I'll see you, though. Anyways, I promised you during the festival that I'd treat you to something after the performance. Your 'suicide' was even more authentic since you stabbed yourself so I'll say you've definitely earned a prize." He stood up and Sasuke curiously followed him inside.

Itachi disappeared upstairs for a moment and when he came back down, he was dressed for going out. When he saw his brother slip on his shoes, Sasuke became even more curious and, like a dog anticipating a treat, he too ran upstairs to get out of his pajamas. Coming back down, he joined his brother in the entrance, putting his own shoes on. Knowing he was failing at hiding his energy, Sasuke went ahead and asked, "Do I get to pick my prize?"

As they left out, Itachi took a moment to peek inside his wallet. Making a face, he looked up at Sasuke with a sheepish smile. "Within reason. Your bro doesn't have much left on him. I'm already going to have to take out a loan from mom and dad." Looking back at his wallet, he sighed. "Damn, looks like it's going to be cup ramen and convenience store lunches for awhile."

Sasuke thought of his own stash and felt guilty. "How about…I treat you instead? I mean, living with mom and dad, I've been able to save quite a bit…"

"No, no, I have a little bit squirreled away," Itachi waved his hands in protest. "It's for when Shisui and I move out together but—"

"You're moving out with _him_?! Why?"

Itachi put his hands in his pockets, staring up at some of the decorations that still adorned the village. "It's more cost effective. Not only that, but between the two of us, we can get a bigger and nicer place. I'll admit I'm spoiled on our house. The one-room apartments most of the bachelors have would make me claustrophobic. And I like the convenience of my own bath instead of a bathhouse. It's just better all-around for us to be roommates," Itachi shrugged but his cavalier attitude faded when he saw the rage building up with Sasuke.

"Let me move in with you then, instead of that arrogant prick! You don't need Shisui!" He hated his petulance but it couldn't be helped. If Shisui moved in with Itachi, he'd never be able to see his brother again with as much as the two coordinated going on missions together.

Reaching over, Itachi pulled Sasuke to him with his smile renewed. "Aww, are you trying to defend my honor? That's sweet, Sasuke, but I assure you I can handle Shisui. Besides, enjoy not having to pay bills." His face darkened. "You'll miss that freedom in due time."

Making a reluctant noise in his throat, Sasuke allowed himself to drop the issue. Now that they were fully in the village, he began to focus on what he wanted as his prize. They passed the uniform shop where they'd made the pizza bet and he briefly considered having Itachi wear the girl uniform they'd discovered, but discarded it. He wanted to create nothing but good memories this time, for once.

However, he realized there was nothing in particular that he wanted. His biggest wish was one that couldn't be had: to have more lazy days like these with his brother. And so, after window-shopping for an hour and treating his sibling to lunch and several sweet dumpling sticks (Itachi's favorite), he suggested they go back home.

Itachi glanced at him in concern, wondering where his enthusiasm had disappeared to. Once they reached the house, he skipped going inside and instead went around the back. From the shed, he pulled out a rake and wordlessly began to rake up the autumn leaves that had begun to cover the ground. Without helping, Sasuke watched him until a rather massive pile had been formed.

"There we go," Itachi dusted his hands off, leaning the rake against a wall. "Alright, kiddo. Jump in."

"Or I could just get a bag and put the leaves in it. Thanks for doing the raking for me, by the way. Mom's been nagging me to do it for weeks." Sasuke made to go get the bags but the moment he turned his back, he heard a loud _crunch_ and turned to find that Itachi had thrown himself in the pile instead.

"Come join me, it's big enough for two!" The older brother called out, picking up some leaves and casting them in the air. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"It's a pile of dead leaves, what adventure?" Sasuke countered. But…his brother did look like he was having fun. Aw, hell, you only live once. He charged full force at the pile and dived right in, wriggling further inside until he'd hidden himself from view. He stayed that way for a moment until Itachi tried to dig him out in which he popped up with a "RAWR!", flinging leaves at him. The resulting leaf battle destroyed the tiny mound, leaving the yard in a state more or less how it was previously.

Using the moment's momentum, Itachi ran into the house and came back out with a box of miscellaneous odds and ends that looked to have come from his room. Of all the things that were in it though, what he pulled out was a headband fitted with a pair of black cat ears. He held them up with a knowing grin and asked, "Do you remember these?"

Sasuke did but he wished he didn't. "I was hoping the days I used to wear those were just a dream," he flushed, putting his face in his hand. "Where the hell did those come from anyways?!"

"A very old mission assignment I had," Itachi shrugged. He refused to let the reminder creep in that it was shortly after that mission that his teammates had been killed. "You came up with a game for these as well…do you remember what it was called?" he grinned, knowing full well Sasuke knew.

Reluctantly, his younger brother muttered, "'Where're you at, kitty cat?' Oh my god, stop…the cringe…"

"Let's play it! For old time's sake. I'll even start off with wearing them. Turn around and close your eyes."

Realizing there was no escaping this, Sasuke did as he asked, putting his hands over his eyes and counting down from thirty. He heard his brother slip into the cat ears and then dash away, going to go hide. The premise of the game was a combination of hide and seek and Marco Polo; the one wearing the ears would go hide while it was up to the other person to find them, periodically chanting the name of the game. If within earshot of hearing the chant, the "cat" had to meow, aiding in being found.

Blessedly, this made the game rather fast and once Sasuke finished counting down, he yelled out, "Where're you at, kitty cat?" in a ringing voice that had to have been heard over the entire property.

However, Itachi remained silent.

Straining his ears, he still heard no reply. "Okay, no cheating! If you hear me, you have to answer!"

Still, silence. So that meant that Itachi likely wasn't even at the house anymore. He clicked his tongue, pissed that he hadn't laid down the rules before beginning the game and setting the parameters. With it being too late to complain, he dashed out to the main road to begin looking.

Going down the busy street, he called again "Where're you at, kitty cat?" with many of his clansmen giggling as he passed. _See, and this is why I didn't want to play this damn game!_ Worse still, he received no answer to his call. Unable to take the scrutiny of everyone else anymore, he made his way down a side street, opting to instead just physically look instead of continuously using that horrific mantra.

From behind a trash can, he saw two black ears sticking up and without thinking, he pounced. He only had a second to realize his mistake before he accidentally landed upon a real cat, which screeched menacingly at him before batting his face like a yarn ball. He flung the cat away and it hissed a final warning like a curse before scampering off.

Eyes watering, he stumbled his way back to the road, making his relatives howl all the more at the tic-tac-toe board that was now his face. He officially decided to list this game as an occupational hazard and gave up. Upon reaching the yard again, he announced, "I'm not searching for you anymore! You win, alright? Another damn game you've beat me in." He went into the house, eager to get to the kitchen to put a cold cloth over his face.

Just as he was walking down the hallway though, the coat closet opened up and Itachi sprang out. Sasuke screamed before letting the sound die in his throat in favor of pounding on Itachi's chest. "Don't give me a heart attack! And also, I know you heard me calling for you in there!"

Itachi removed the ears, throwing them back into the closet with little care. "It's actually pretty sound-proof in there. I honestly thought you'd decided to not play the game at all but I didn't want to reveal my hiding spot until I was absolutely certain. Where all did you go? I was in there for like an hour!" He froze though when he saw Sasuke's face. "Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh'. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit and relax with my Netflix like I originally wanted to do." He stopped in the downstairs bathroom for a wet towel for his face before flopping limply on the couch.

A few minutes later, Itach joined him, holding out a plate of cut ginger. Sasuke took it wordlessly, still sulking, and placed a slice on his cuts. "I'm sorry," the older brother said, feeling like it was his fault his little brother had gotten hurt. "You're always getting injured on my watch."

Sasuke grinned, wincing. "Very true. I think you're dangerous for me."

They fell silent for a while as they hunted for something to watch. Then Itachi spoke up again. "Hey Sasuke?"

"Hm?" Ooh, a new season for _House of Cards_ , perfect!

"I love you."

Sasuke lowered the Playstation controller he'd been using as a remote and stared at him, too many thoughts flashing through his mind. Itachi refused to look his way though except to pluck the controller from him, queuing up an episode. The tension continued to build until Sasuke finally just sighed and nodded slowly. "Yeah. I know you do. But don't get sappy on me. You're going back to school, this isn't the draft."

Itachi still smiled, settling in to quietly enjoy each other's company.

* * *

The game 'Where're you at, kitty cat?' was something I came up with in my story _Diver,_ but I initially was inspired by it from Shippuden episode number 453. At the end, little Sasuke puts the ears on and cuddles with Itachi, which was probably the cutest damn thing Sasuke ever did :) I wanted to create something that would expand upon the usage of those ears and that moment of brotherly bonding.

Anyways, thanks so much for reading and final questions and comments are always appreciated!


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